Dancing With the Stars Season 23: First Elimination Results

First elimination of the Dancing with the Stars’s 23rd season is a 2-hour event, with much recapping and backstage footage.

Ah, a Dancing with the Stars results show. Two hours of sitting around waiting for a single announcement. One isn’t sure why they wanted one this long tonight. Did ABC not have anything else to put in the 8 o’clock slot? And we don’t even get an encore dance at the start, just Len saying he’s been impressed by the dancing so far, which is weird.

But it soon turns out that the first hour’s going to be not unlike something they used to do, where they’d spend an hour recapping. Except instead of recapping with the dances we’ve seen already, they’re recapping with the behind the scenes footage common on results shows. We get what their mics picked up during the dance itself, what they said to each other before and after, and other similar footage. Also some other footage, such as Sasha throwing a ball and Terra when she’s on the phone, and Terra taking revenge with it later.

Although there’s a moment of panic when Tom says we’re going to talk about something Jana told him, and for a split second we fear she might withdraw. But then he finishes, “during the dress rehearsal,” and it turns out to just be a comment from her grandmother. And that conversation is immediately followed by shots in Gleb Shevchenko in wet underwear so tight they feel the need to make use of the spinning disco ball censor. So that’s all good. Surprisingly, Ryan’s footage shows second to last rather than last, but we get our clear footage yet of the intrusion by his detractors.

Then at last the pros are taking to the floor in bright colors, apparently portraying crayons, and we go into the more traditional results show format. And two couples find out immediately they’re safe. Obvious one first: Laurie & Val. And then: Rick & Emma! Everyone groans upon learning we’re not going to get rid of him yet. Guess that would’ve been too easy. Then we start with the filler:

• Montage of the male celebrities saying why they did it. Jake saying he doesn’t want to be seen as a kid anymore. Vanilla Ice saying he wants to shake the dust off. We also get Rick repeating the motivation he stole from Jerry Springer. They end it with Ryan reciting the whole “second chance” monologue again. But Babyface kind of steals it by talking about his late mother.

Results are coming quick, though: four more couples line up. Marilu & Derek are safe, which is not really surprising. Maureen & Artem are in jeopardy, which isn’t really surprising either. Babyface & Allison are safe, so with Ryan & Cheryl standing there they could go either way…and they’re in jeopardy. Actually, should’ve known they’d keep him on stage as long as possible. If he isn’t the one out, he’ll probably be the last one called safe.

• The women’s motivations are a lot more generic than the men’s. Terra wants to show she can dance despite her size. Amber wants to show the “real” her. Maureen wants to built her confidence. The most interesting one is perhaps Laurie’s revealing she just wants to be on the show; she’s obviously grown up watching it.

• Charlie Puth performing current hit “We Don’t Talk Anymore,” as he sits on a piano on the raised circular stage, on which Sharna & Val dancing their accompaniment. It’s a good way to keep them on camera for more of it, and the choreography is downright brilliant. They couldn’t get Selena Gomez, so Daya drops in to sing her part. This kind of ends up being the best number of the night.

Four more couples line up.  Calvin & Lindsay, Vanilla Ice & Witney, and James & Sharna are all called safe, leaving Jake & Jenna standing there, now the most likely to go with Rick & Emma safe, and yep, they’re in jeopardy.

• Daya performs a bumper with four more dancers

• Derek, Cheryl, & Maks get a fluff piece about themselves before they come out and show in an spectacular number with Artem, Allison & Jenna how wonderful they are and how much we’ve missed them.
• A special preview of the “Forever Country” video, a bunch of country singers singing a medley of songs woven around and through Witney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” It’s something that deserves a purpose better than promoting the 50^th anniversary of the Country Music Awards, but that’s what it’s there for.
• Gavin DeGraw performs a new single: “She Sets the City on Fire.” He has some pro accompaniment, but there’s too little of them and too much of him, really, even more than is usual.

Three more couples are still have to line up. Since no one would believe Terra & Sasha are going anywhere, they’re called safe first. Then Amber & Maks are the fourth couple in jeopardy, and after one last pause, Jana & Gleb are confirmed as safe.

Jake & Jenna, Maureen & Artem, and Ryan & Cheryl join Amber & Maks on stage. Next safe are Maureen & Artem, then Amber & Maks. Yep, Ryan & Cheryl are in the final two. The problem is, the other couple there is Jake & Jenna, and which one of them would go first it pretty obvious. Sure enough, it’s Jake & Jenna out. Jake says it’s been fun. Everyone’s more sad Jenna got out first in her debut. But Tom tells her we haven’t seen the last of her in her debut.

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He then does a last minute announcement for next week. We knew already there was only going to be an hour, since the first presidential debate is at 9. Now we learn that the remaining twelve couples will duel against each other for immunity from elimination. He makes it sound like there’s going to be an elimination next week, so is whoever was second to last this two weeks doomed already? We’ll find out next Monday at 8.