21 Game of Thrones Characters as Disney Songs

Credit: Helen Sloan/HBO

19. Joffrey Baratheon: “The Phony King of England”

"He sits alone on a giant throne Pretendin’ he’s the king A little tyke who’s rather like A puppet on a string And he throws an angry tantrum If he cannot have his way And then he calls for mum while he’s suckin’ his thumb You see, he doesn’t want to play —Robin Hood"

Admittedly, Joffrey didn’t make a habit of turning to Cersei. He ran for her protection after being attacked by Arya’s direwolf, Nymeria, in Season 1. But after that, he prefers to lord his power over his mother as much as he does anyone else. She is a woman, after all, and Joffrey makes it plain that he’d swap his crown for a fedora if he lived in the 21st century.

The rest of this Disney classic does, however, fit Joffrey like a glove. He played at the role of king in more ways than one. The audience and, indeed, many of the characters know that Joffrey has no true claim to the Iron Throne. As a bastard born of twins Cersei and Jaime Lannister, Joffrey doesn’t belong in the Baratheon line of succession. But his standing as the late King Robert’s son is solidified enough for Joffrey to seize the crown upon Robert’s death.

While, in his eyes, the throne was his right, Joffrey still had no concept of how to wield power or govern a nation. Instead, he simply used the title so he could get away with whatever he wanted. And when someone stood in his way—for example, Tywin in Season 3—Joffrey threw a fit. “I am the king!” he shouted, as though the title granted him an all-access pass to be terrible. More than anything, Joffrey was a violent child who had no idea what he was doing unless it was deliberately causing someone else pain. Torment, rather than ruling, was his forte.

As such, Game of Thrones fans collectively rooted for “a pox on that phony king of England!” And as luck would have it, Joffrey dropped dead on his wedding day.

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