Dancing with the Stars: Cast Breakdown

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Cheryl Burke: Ryan Lochte, the ill-advised Olympic choice

Aug 10, 2016; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; Michael Phelps (USA) and Ryan Lochte (USA) during the men

Poor Cheryl. This won’t even be the first partner she’s had on this show under indictment, and Tom Delay was guilty of worse. But it can’t be pleasant, coming back and promptly being paired with a guy the whole world is angry with right now. Ironically, if he hadn’t misbehaved at that gas station, Ryan Lochte would’ve been ideal for Dancing with the Stars. He had a bunch of Olympic gold medals, fame, fans, and the kind of personality that works well on this kind of reality TV. But he should not be rewarded for what he’s done with a place on Dancing with the Stars. And when we don’t even know that he won’t be arrested and extradited to Brazil in the middle of the season…well.

He won’t get no votes; there are enough terrible people in this country who will still vote for him. Cheryl also has her own fanbase. So we won’t even be rid of him quickly, I fear. But the other Olympic swimmer who’s tried her hand at ballroom was actually a bit of a disappointment. It’s always possible he won’t be a good dancer, and that would help get him out. But if he is, who knows how long we’ll have to put up with him?

Next: Emma gets saddled with her worst old man yet