16 Identity Crisis Driven Foods to Try or Avoid

Grāpple: An Artificial Produce Mashup

Back in 2004, I spotted these fruit mashups in the produce section at Wegmans and wondered what the heck is a Grāpple. There was a slightly grapey scent hovering around the packages like an olfactory case of apples in the grape mist. The idea of two fruits in one without using a blender seemed fascinating so I decided to try it out.

That was an unfortunate idea, the first of many in the realm of I’ll-try-anything come I-now-understand-regret moments of my life. The surface of the apples felt extra waxy, the first indicator of the level of unnaturalness of the product. I tried them without removing all the wax in case that was where the grape came in, but it seems the entire fruit was imbued with a low level of grossly artificial tasting grape flavor. The apple texture itself was also less than ideal for my tastes, not very crisp. I’d rather eat actual grapes and keep my apples separate.

The answer to how could an apple be a grape is that it can’t. Somebody must like them though because the company is still around and I see Grāpples available in stores from time to time. It’s possible that they’ve improved, but my mouth is not willing to play along with another shot at trying this identity crisis produce.

Next: Cotton Candy Grapes: Fruit As Candy