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Soda Flavored Pop-Tarts: Giving Up The Ghost

I don’t even know why Pop-Tarts live in the breakfast foods aisle. The things have no really redeeming nutritional qualities. The now-frosted relics of my childhood are pretenders lurking next to the granola bars of actual nutritious content. With this latest set of flavors, Pop-Tarts have let go of any illusion of healthiness by opting to mimic the flavors of soda.

For my taste test, I chose the A&W Rootbeer flavor. First of all, the instructions for optional heating include 3 seconds in the microwave. I can confirm for you that 3 seconds does nothing to raise the temperature of those things.

Opening one of the packets in the box revealed two shingles covered with frosting on one side. The things were glued together on one end because of some dark brown goo oozing out of the end.

Smell-wise there was a distinct hint rootbeer odor, but it was joined by the weird chemical smell of Pop-Tart pastry crust. The icing had a few little brown flecks of sugar unevenly distributed on the frosting. They looked a bit like mold or dirt or insect droppings.

Unfortunately the artificial flavors were strong enough to overcome the slight rootbeer flavor in the scant bit of filling. My husband lasted one bite and declared it inedible while I made it through two bites. Utterly rejected.

Pop-Tarts should stick to fillings more normally associated with baked goods. They are so not meant to be sodas.

Next: Swedish Fish Oreos: Why God? Why?