16 Identity Crisis Driven Foods to Try or Avoid

Jones Soda Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner: Regrettable Sodas for Charity

As a member of the anti-celery club, I though I had seen rock bottom of the beverage world when I spotted Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray Soda. Jones Soda Co. completely changed that with their soda identity crisis. In 2003 they produced a Turkey & Gravy flavored soda that sold out in 2 hours.

It was the beginning of a soda reign of terror because the next year had an entire pack of fearful flavors. The Limited Edition Holiday Collection for 2004 was themed to remind the drinker of holiday meals “just like Mom used to make.” Along with the required utensils for the meal there were five bottles of soda: Turkey & Gravy, Mashed Potatoes & Butter, Green Bean Casserole, Cranberry Sauce, and Fruitcake.

Don’t worry, the delusional choice of savory dish flavors unfit for sodahood was driven by charity. Jones Soda produced the holiday packs to raise money for Toys for Tots. The 2004 pack sold out in under an hour and showed up on auction site like eBay

The company has gone on to expand their gross sounding soda flavors to encompass other themes, sometimes tied to a charity and sometimes not. Some additional noteworthy flavors throughout the years are:

• 2005: Wild Herb Stuffing, Brussels Sprout, Smoked Salmon Pâté, Corn on the Cob, Broccoli Casserole
• 2006: Dinner Roll, Pea, Antacid
• 2007: Perspiration, Sports Cream, Natural Field Turf, Dirt, Christmas Ham, Christmas Tree, Latke
• 2009: Tofurkey and Gravy
• 2013: Poutine

I’ll have to say I wouldn’t try any of these scary sounding flavors, but I admire support of charities. This identity crisis is a smashing publicity success, but soda will never really fit in as a savory dish.

Next: Soda Flavored Pop-Tarts: Giving Up The Ghost