Rubio Seizes on Rowling’s Comparison of Trump to Voldemort


The Rubio campaign is taking Rowling’s comparison of Donald Trump to Voldemort to the next level. Unfortunately, it looks like the never read the books.

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Political candidates! They’re just like you and me, right? Or at least that’s what they would have you believe. The problem is when they try and use a pop culture reference, and mangle it so badly that it becomes obvious they have zero idea of what they are talking about.

Marco Rubio and his team have been trying for the last year to make their candidate “relatable” to people, even as he accidentally gets unmasked as a robot live on national television. He’s young! Therefore he likes EDM! Except he can’t actually name any electronic artists, and it’s not actually clear he knows what EDM actually stands for! But that’s ok! He’s young! He likes Harry Potter! And he agrees 100 percent with Rowling’s comparison of Trump to Voldemort and his campaign advisers to Death Eaters! So much so they wrote an entire memo fleshing out the comparison.

Getty images, Warner Bros./photo illustration Javier Zarracina, Vox

Except, clearly they never read the books. Nor did they pay all that much attention when watching the movies. It’s a little embarrassing.

In Harry Potter lore, Voldemort, the Dark Lord, had a secret to his strength. His secret was his horcruxes. As each horcrux was destroyed, Voldemort became increasingly vulnerable, not increasingly strong. When all of the horcruxes were gone, Voldemort lost his one-on-one battle with Harry Potter… Like Voldemort’s horcruxes, the large candidate field shields Trump from harm. At each step of the primary process, Trump is losing his shields, and that is making him more vulnerable.


First of all, do they understand what a Horcrux is? Are they suggesting that each of the Republican candidates harbors a piece of Trump evil soul inside them? (Well, that would explain a few things!)

Next: did they miss that bit where *Harry* is the seventh Horcrux? So by their comparison of Rubio to Harry, that means that Rubio staying in the field is part of the protection for Trump, and that in order to defeat Trump, Rubio must sacrifice himself/drop out of the race. Somehow I don’t think they mean for him to do that.

Vox has taken this completely wrong headed use of “Harry Potter as metaphor” and come up with some questions for the next debate. Personally, if anyone asks these, I’ll actually tune in and watch.

  1. A person with a slice of Voldemort’s soul inside him could speak Parseltongue, the language of snakes, because Voldemort had this ability. Sen. Cruz, are you concerned you will begin describing things as “yuge” and “tremendous”?
  2. Dr. Carson, is it true that in addition to being a horcrux, you’ve been under a Confundus Charm this entire time?
  3. Sen. Rubio, if Voldemort wanted to register all Muslims, do you think Harry Potter would have responded that anti-Muslim discrimination is no more serious than fans of different sports teams disagreeing?
  4. Who was the last person to defeat Jeb Bush at a debate, and thus the true possessor of the Elder Wand?
  5. Sen. Rubio, are you aware that Harry was (spoiler alert) a horcrux? Have you considered the possibility that you yourself are the final horcrux, the one Trump never meant to make?
  6. Would that mean you would have to sacrifice yourself to defeat Trump, akin to losing the primary to win the general?
  7. And didn’t Jeb Bush already try that?

Next: Emma Watson Is Taking a Break From Acting

(By the way, Rubio and Vox people, Horcrux is capitalized. Hermione would be appalled at your lack of grammar.)