Evie: Gingerdead Man vs Evil Bong (2013)
I’m not really going to tell you that this is a fine film or that you should add it to your holiday viewing roster. But whether Evie is a good bong or an evil bong depends entirely on what you think of her plan to turn all the air on Earth into pot smoke and all the water into bongwater so everyone will be high all the time. If you hate that idea, Captain Buzzkill, that’s on you. If you love it— or if you just hate that haunted Christmas cookie even more--Ebie is a hero for the ages.
Diane: Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972)
Not to be confused with the 80s horror Christmas franchise about a boy with bad Santa issues, this is a mystery thriller that takes place around the holidays. What begins as a slasher swirls into a disturbing tale of of terrible people doing awful things and getting away with it for decades. Diane weathers all of it heroically and doesn’t even bother keeping the cursed mansion she could have easily scored from Jeffrey.
Anna: Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)
Is it even Christmas if there are no zombies to slay? Depends on who you ask. Ella Hunt is delightful as Anna faces an array of obstacles in her pursuit of a year off before college. She doesn’t need men to rescue her, isn’t constantly looking for love, and eventually gets to leave her hometown. If I was forming a zombie apocalypse team, I’d want her on it.