8 guest appearances we need on American Horror Story season 8

With American Horror Story season 8 coming up fast, the promise of high profile guest appearances has us thinking about our dream stars.

Any fan of Ryan Murphy knows and accepts a few unequivocal truths before allowing themselves to commit to a new season of one of his many (many many) shows. First, there will be shocks, several that genuinely don’t feel like they should be allowed to be on television. Second, there will be camp, much of it seemingly so curated to such a niche but passionate audience that the mere fact of its existence on television is a triumph. Finally, there will be a cast that is mindblowingly stacked, wacky and exactly what we never knew we needed.

In a recent interview with E! News, Murphy dished just a bit about the upcoming futuristic eighth season, but of course, he made sure to tease the appearances of some very high profile names. Knowing him and knowing the show, “high profile” is not an exaggeration nor a clickbait-y pull quote: it’s a warning to get ready for a wild ride that may or may not include the likes of Patti LuPone murdering her husband with a bee or Lady Gaga eating human body parts during a sex party.

And with what we’ve already witnessed plus the knowledge that this show can (and does, and will) get away with pretty much anything, we’ve compiled a list of our dream guests to star in what will be certain-nightmare scenarios.

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – JANUARY 07: In this handout photo provided by NBCUniversal, Barbra Streisand speaks onstage during the 75th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 7, 2018 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal via Getty Images)

Barbra Streisand

American Horror Story, American Crime Story, Feud, 9-1-1 and Glee have all proven that when Ryan Murphy sets out to make a show for his people (read: theatre folk), he is not here to play around. And with an upcoming project already in the works with Babs, there’s no reason not to invite her to play! We’ve seen a lot over the past 8 years — even a quick lil musical interlude led by America’s songbird Jessica Lange — so there’s really no excuse not to have Barbra Streisand join the ranks and offer everything she has to the circus that is AHS. And as though her mere existence isn’t enough to convince everyone that she’s needed on set, let us not forget that she very recently literally cloned her dog, so she’s already living in the damn future. She’ll fit right in.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — Episode 1740 “Sterling K. Brown” — Pictured: Host Sterling K. Brown during the Opening Monologue in Studio 8H on Saturday, March 10, 2018 — (Photo by: Will Heath/NBC)

Sterling K. Brown

This man is, perhaps, most famous for being a part of This is Us, but his breakout role in American Crime Story: The People Vs. OJ Simpson as Christopher Darden earned him an Emmy before he was on NBC making everyone cry about Crock-Pots and such.

He hardly needs any vouching, but his intoxicating way of bringing fierce, bold strength and soft, sensitive humanity to any role makes him the perfect candidate to have a guest run as, oh, I don’t know, the morally troubled head of a corporation that’s accidentally contributed to the demise of all humankind. Or even just some dad. He’s watchable, lovable and magical in any situation. We need him.

LOS ANGELES, CA – FEBRUARY 26: Oprah Winfrey attends the premiere of Disney’s ‘A Wrinkle In Time’ at the El Capitan Theatre on February 26, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images)

Oprah

What to say about Oprah Winfrey in this, the year 2018? She’s the most famous woman alive. She has the clout of a literal queen and the temperament of your favorite aunt. When we get the honor of watching her in a movie, she’s funny, she’s heartbreaking, and she immediately demands attention without even having to do anything. She has a magazine for which she is the cover star every month of every year.

She is, quite literally, the most influential and recognizable force we have on this planet. And she’s possibly our next president. If anyone can get her, it’s Ryan Murphy. Imagine Oprah as the head of NASA. Imagine Oprah in a futuristic pod. Imagine Oprah has graduated from president to Queen of Future Earth. Only AHS (or Oprah herself) can make it happen.

NEW YORK, NY – APRIL 22: Carrie Coon attends the ‘The Lovers’ premiere at BMCC Tribeca PAC on April 22, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Donna Ward/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival)

Carrie Coon

She’s no stranger to the world of limited series TV, she’s a theater star, she’s as fierce and dedicated as they come, and she’s such an incredible chameleon that I’ve seen her in everything she’s ever done on stage and screen and still wonder aloud at one point during every performance, “Wait, who is that actor?”

She’s one of those people, much like go-to Sarah Paulson, who was made for that AHS life. She’d be able to jump from character to character believably, perfectly, and honestly probably a little spookily. She seems down for anything, and is undoubtedly qualified for whatever may be thrown her way.

There’s really no better time than now to snatch her up and lock her into the Unofficial American Horror Story Acting Troupe. She’s coming off an Emmy nom, so she’s in high demand. Honestly, we may not be able to find her again if she goes off and disappears into another character.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – MARCH 04: Jordan Peele attends the 90th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood & Highland Center on March 4, 2018 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)

Jordan Peele

As a man who needs no introduction but deserves 100, Jordan Peele is an obvious choice for a guest star on a horror-comedy show. Everyone loved him when he was doing a sketch show. Everyone loved him when he wrote a prolific, nuanced horror film, for which he won an Oscar! How could he possibly be any more qualified to be on season 8?!

There is nothing about this hilarious, thoughtful, twisty-minded fella that doesn’t scream “three-episode mid-season arc!” to me.

And I am willing to put Ryan Murphy in the Sunken Place until he figures that out.

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – FEBRUARY 05: Annette Bening attends AARP’s 17th Annual Movies For Grownups Awards at the Beverly Wilshire Four Seasons Hotel on February 5, 2018 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Gabriel Olsen/Getty Images for AARP)

Annette Bening

The force of intense magic that is Annette Bening has not yet come in contact with the mania that is American Horror Story — likely because we wouldn’t, as a species, be able to handle the level of talent and heart-eye-emoji explosions that would result in said marriage. Though she was scheduled to work with Ryan Murphy on the next season of American Crime Story that centers on Hurricane Katrina, the universe intervened for our safety, I guess, and she was recast.

But that means we were robbed of the Bening/Murphy crossover we deserve. This woman can do everything, and she can do it so well that it’s an honor to watch her do literally anything. In the world of AHS where it’s all possible and the rules don’t matter, we need an Annette Bening to make sense of it all.

TORONTO, ON – SEPTEMBER 09: Stanley Tucci attends the Sony Pictures Classics TIFF Celebration Dinner 2017 at Morton’s on September 9, 2017 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Sony Pictures Classics)

Stanley Tucci

At the risk of sounding dramatic but also with the understanding that I’m physically incapable of coming up with another way to highlight the magic of this person, I am here to say that Stanley Tucci is one of the top 10 men we have on this planet.

He is, quite simply, good. He’s incredibly versatile, he’s painfully talented, and he’s already proven that he fits right into the world of Ryan Murphy with his incredible role in Feud: Bette and Joan. And as he’s already had his share of experience in the world of futuristic weirdness within the world of The Hunger Games, there’s truly no reason he shouldn’t immediately come onboard as a guest actor on AHS season 8.

In a world full of fear and heartbreak, we all know we can always come back to the shining beam of light that is Mr. Stanley Tucci, so hypothetically inserting him into a horrifying future, even if just for one episode, brings me hope.

The whole cast of Ocean’s 8

It is unconscionable that this even needs to be spelled out, but the cast of the upcoming Art Film™, Ocean’s 8, should be on every list that outlines anything good / everything that has the potential to be good. Before I continue, allow me to lay out the key players, for once you know who we’re dealing with, you will likely need precisely zero more words of convincing. The cast includes: Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter, Awkwafina, Sandra Bullock, Mindy Kaling, Rihanna, Anne Hathaway and, oh, yeah, Sarah Paulson!

These women are the future, and season 8 is set in the future. Therefor, due to math reasons, these women legally deserve to be included in any and all creative conversations moving forward. We need them committing crimes. We need them solving crimes. We need different pairings of them to be mixed and matched and thrown into wacky scenarios curated by Ryan Murphy to appeal to the badass women, LGBTQ folk, people of color and magical creatures of all kinds he attracts with his programming.

Next: 15 times Dana Scully was the best character on TV

In short, they will save us all, and it would be in our collective best interest to get these eight saviors on as many screens as we can as quickly as humanly possible.

Who would you like to see on American Horror Story season 8?