The Lady Ostrich In This Hilarious Video Is The Feminist Icon We Need
The lady ostrich in this hilarious video keeps on snacking while a fool male ostrich dances for her attention. And she’s my feminist icon for 2017.
You know when you’re out, just trying to relax, but you can’t because some dude is jumping up and down trying to get your attention? There’s a lady ostrich who knows how you feel.
This priceless video, “Lady Ostrich Gives Zero F**ks About Guy’s Mating Dance,” has been making its way around social media via The Dodo. The girl ostrich just blithely ignores the boy ostrich’s mating hijinks while she eats her lunch.
Check it out:
She is just trying to eat in peace while he dances in the background like a fool, trying to get her attention. The male ostrich twists, turns, and flaps his wings. She says focused on her food trough. He gyrates, kneels and flails around like he’s been dosed at an ostrich rave. But the Lady Ostrich wants nothing to do with him. She’s just trying to have a snack.
That got me thinking. We’ve all been there, right ladies? You know how it is. You’re sitting there at The Starbugs, trying to drink your coffee in peace, and this happens:
Lady ostrich … (Screencap via Jukin Media and The Dodo)
I mean come on. All you want is a chance to wake up or shake off the day at the office, and some dude just can’t let you be. He thinks you’re there just waiting for him, but your silly lady brain just hasn’t noticed. When you aren’t impressed by his mere presence, he goes on display. He really wants your attention.
First he checks his hair, turning his neck this way and that in a classic grooming behavior. Then he stretches, widely and loudly, to show off his manly physique. But you’re still just drinking your coffee, staring at your phone.
The dude moves on to adjusting the tail of his shirt, making sure it’s tucked in just right so you get a good look at his righteous abs. He adjusts his jacket, both to try to catch your eye with movement, because maybe you are a deaf hot girl. He also needs to show off his super cool jacket to impress you with his awesome taste. So he takes it off, shakes it out, and hangs it over the back of his chair. Frustratingly, you’re still focused on your coffee! What is wrong with women?
It’s time for a display of wealth. He takes out his sleek laptop and pretends to check an important email. He closes it and empties his pockets as if he’s looking for something (which is actually just your attention.) The dude piles his iPod, iPhone, Bluetooth earpiece, wallet, money clip and car keys on the table, making sure to jangle his keys in case you’re not actually deaf.
Still no response. Now he has no choice but to escalate, so he sticks his Bluetooth in his ear and phones a friend. The dude regales you loudly with tales of his latest work victory. At least that seems to be the subtext, as far as you can gather while you’re attempting to not listen at all.
He realizes, as he glances ostentatiously at his wristwatch, that time is running short. He’s out of options, so it’s time for the big finale. In a clatter of noise and sweeping movements, he dons his awesome jacket and refills his pockets. The laptop goes back in the bag, and he checks his hair again, brushing his neck as he turns his head from side to side.
You stare into the dregs of your coffee, wondering if you should get a refill. But you realize he’ll just offer to pay, so you calmly put on your coat and walk out the door. There’s always more coffee across the street.
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Lady Ostrich is a timeless feminist icon. Realize your inner Lady Ostrich and know that you don’t owe anyone your attention no matter how much they gyrate in your face.