A feminist’s guide to modern rom-coms

Feminists can have a much more optimistic view of modern rom-coms and the new “chick flicks.” You’ll never watch a romantic comedy the same way again.

I am both a feminist and a hopeless romantic. While I love a movie with a strong, capable heroine, I also love a schmaltzy love story filled with abs, cheekbones, and romantic kisses on the beach in front of a setting sun.

Until recently, these two loves were mutually exclusive: you could have one or the other, but not both. But we live in a transitional time, and worlds are beginning to collide.

Thus, I present to you a feminist guide to modern rom-coms.

Modern rom-coms are no longer antiquated and corny tellings of the female experience through the male gaze. Our female leads are whole, multi-faceted characters who can have both successful careers and a robust personal life. In decades past, the term “chick flick” was diminutive and dismissive, reducing movies “for women” as vapid and shallow. The new chick flick contemplates what it means to make yourself happy, and how to navigate an individualized and personal “happy ending” that may or may not include “getting the guy.”

Although I’ve noticed a subtle shift in how female characters are drawn in these kind of movies over the last decade or so, it wasn’t until the last two years (or so) that it became obvious how badly the genre needed a revamp.

Although it is problematic in its own way, Rebel Wilson’s Isn’t It Romantic puts a pretty fine point on what is wrong with the classic romantic comedy. The movie spoofs some of the most well-known offerings of the genre, calling attention to the tired tropes and cliches we’ve come to accept from the canon.

Wilson’s character, Natalie, wakes up in an alternative reality in which her whole life has been transformed into a romantic comedy. Her character even dresses like Julia Roberts’ character, Vivian, from the ultimate rom-com Pretty Woman. Natalie pokes fun at the silly lies these movies have been feeding us all these years. She satires the “gay best friend” who doesn’t exist outside the lead’s shadow. She goes after the PG nature of the movies, which rob viewers. She even points out the impossible scenario of waking up with a fresh face of full makeup.

Although we all know how implausible tropes things may be in real life, we accepted and consumed them wholeheartedly. The latest clapback to these (sometimes) anti-woman stories are the modern rom-coms in which women are presented as actual, sentient human beings. Netflix has dug in on this, offering movies that are written and produced by women. 2019’s Someone Great garnered a lot of critical and audience approval for its pushback on the idea of romance.

Written and directed by Jennifer Kaitlyn Robinson, the movie tells the story of the romance between three best friends, played by Gina Rodriguez, Brittany Snow, and Dewanda Wise. In a reverse on the traditional narrative arc, the movie begins with the breakup between Rodriguez’s character, Jenny, and her long-time boyfriend.

It spends the appropriate amount of effort focusing on her loss, but the movie finds itself exploring the relationships between the female friends. Their lives are not presented through the lens of their respective relationships, but more on how these partners contribute to a more holistic character. Just like in real life, these characters aren’t defined by their significant others, but rather how these relationships inform and prop up the other areas of their life.

You can also thank Netflix for the wildly popular To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. All at once a sweet coming of age love story and a feminist offering to the canon, the movie made us believe in teenage love. To its credit, it offers a male lead that isn’t presented as a toxically masculine drip who performs an old-fashioned gender-normative stereotype. We actually rooted for Lana Candor’s Laura Jean to be with Peter, played perfectly and without any ironic sensitivity by Noah Centineo.

This doesn’t mean there isn’t room in the modern view for a more traditional structure. In fact, the success of the movie (and novel, of course) Crazy Rich Asians prove that inclusion is the name of the game. The movie features an all-Asian cast and takes on Singapore culture, while telling a pretty tried-and-true romantically comedic story.  Crazy Rich Asians tells the timeless story of boy meets girl, they face a seemingly insurmountable obstacle which threatens their future, and then coming together at the end. You know, because love conquers all — even systemic classism.

As a true romantic comedy fan, I can attest that we still need these stories, but we need them told in variety and diversity. The new slate of the genre recognizes that representation matters, and people will turn up for stories that aren’t about cisgender white people. Dear, Simon is further proof that a romantic comedy can be widely appealing even if it pushes back against genre conventions.

What Men Want, starring Taraji P. Henson, is another good example of rule-breaking and genre-busting. Although the movie isn’t particularly remarkable in its story or message, the gender flip from the original film, starring Mel Gibson, is enough to be hopeful about.

These movies, in no way, represent a comprehensive list. And thankfully, there have been films that open the door to a new, bolder way to tell love stories. We can’t discount 13 Going on 30, Legally Blonde, or Easy A. All these movies value female self-actualization, flawed as it may be,  over male approval. But we can admit, as a culture, these were outliers, and that’s probably why we lift them up as romantic comedy canon.

What bears celebrating is the rising tide these films created. By doing better, rising higher, these film emboldened writers, directors, and producers to spotlight female voices and female experiences. There are plenty more where these came from and the trend has even trickled it’s way over to to television. Shows like The Bold Type, Jane the Virgin, Killing Eve and Fleabag are also contributing voices to the evolution of the “chick flick.” It’s about time we saw more media that features a woman’s romance with herself.

Let me know in the comments what modern feminist rom-coms I’ve left out and you need me to watch. Or, if you want my picks for the best feminist shows, send me a Tweet.