Nicole Kidman recalls pregnancy miscarriage ‘grief’ and motherhood ‘joy’ during Tom Cruise marriage

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Nicole Kidman has joined a growing group of celebrities in discussing her motherhood challenges and joys, from miscarriages to adoption.

Nicole Kidman is known for her successful career as an actress, captivating fans most recently in Big Little Lies. But behind that glowing, gorgeous exterior, Kidman has experienced heartbreak in trying to get pregnant. Kidman is opening up about her challenges with motherhood, including her grief after two miscarriages, for Tatler‘s July issue.

Now 50, Kidman shares that when she was married to Tom Cruise, she learned that her first pregnancy was ectopic. An ectopic pregnancy takes place when the embryo starts to grow in the fallopian tube instead of the womb. Before her marriage to Tom Cruise ended in 2001, Kidman experienced two heartbreaking miscarriages.

Kidman is opening up about her grief now because she feels that the heartbreak of a miscarriage deserves to be recognized. But despite society’s silence on the topic, Kidman knows the pain.

"I know the yearning. That yearning. It’s a huge, aching yearning. And the loss! The loss of a miscarriage is not talked about enough. That’s massive grief to certain women."

With that confession of the pain Kidman felt from her miscarriages, Kidman also is getting candid about the joy she felt in adopting two children.

Big Little Lies star shares the joy of adoption after pregnancy struggles

Kidman revealed that after the grief she experienced from her miscarriage, the joy of adopting a child was even sweeter. Nicole and Tom adopted a daughter, Isabella Jane (born in 1992), and a son, Connor Anthony (born in 1995), in the wake of her pregnancy struggles. Losing a child and then becoming a parent brought extreme lows and great highs in her emotional life, shared Kidman.

“There’s an enormous amount of pain and an enormous amount of joy on the other side of it,” admitted the actress. “The flipside of going through so much yearning and pain to get there is the feeling of ‘Ahhhh!’ when you have the child.”

Keith Urban marriage means more motherhood marvels

Kidman’s motherhood journey didn’t end after adopting two children with Tom Cruise. Kidman gave love a second chance in 2005 when she had a Close Encounter of the Romance Kind with country crooner Keith Urban. After tying the knot in 2006, Nicole and Keith welcomed two daughters.

After giving birth to Sunday Rose in 2008, Kidman and Urban cherished the arrival of their second daughter Faith Margaret in 2010 via surrogacy. Urban shared his love in an Instagram throwback photo.

Kidman is a mama bear when it comes to protecting her children. She and Urban agreed not to sell photos of their celebrity kids, preferring to stay within their own “little cocoon.” And after all the highs and lows that Kidman has experienced in her motherhood journey, she calls her feelings about her children a “painful love.”

“It’s almost like my heart is stretching; I’m feeling all the muscles stretch with emotion. It’s a beautiful love, but there’s a lot of fear and pain for [my children’s lives],” she clarified.

Related Story: RHOD star Brandi Redmond adopts a baby boy

Ultimately, Kidman told Tatler that she credits her own feminist mother, Janelle, for bringing her up to believe that anything is possible.

It’s a “big thing when you have a mother who has helped shape you,” said Kidman. And we’re betting that her children will feel the same way about their fabulously strong mom.