The X-Files season 11 episode 7 recap and review: Rm9sbG93ZXJz

Scully and Mulder flee evil drones, creepy vacuums, sushi robots, and technology in general in “Rm9sbG93ZXJzm,” the latest episode of The X-Files.

I’ll admit that, when I first saw the preview for this episode, I was a little worried. It’s not that drones aren’t creepy in their own right. It was more that technological horror is a minefield, even for The X-Files.

There are so many ways to go wrong. You could lean over too far into the alarmist side of things. You could become so worried about text messages and automation that you start to sound like some sort of scary backwoods separatist.

However, those drawbacks are very real issues in our own world. Will we ever be chased by murderous drones, like they were on the latest episode of The X-Files? Probably not. Well, hopefully not. But maybe some concern is warranted.

“Rm9sbG93ZXJz” opens with a voiceover that is pretty well removed from the standard X-Files opener. You know, usually, someone is doing something normal, like taking out the trash or spending time with their family. Then — Bam! — they are confronted with something exceedingly strange, like aliens or a giant, flesh-eating fungus. Credits roll, “The Truth is Out There” flashes, commercials begin.

This time around, however, we get a voiceover that is separated from that standard form. A synthetic voice tells us that on March 23, 2016, an artificial chatbot was released on Twitter. It was designed to mimic a 19-year-old girl and would learn from the Twitter users it encountered. Soon enough, it turned into a racist advocate, thanks to what it learned from humanity.

This is a real chatbot released by Microsoft in 2016. It lasted a day before turning evil.

Blade Runner meets Nighthawks meets a blobfish

We return from commercial to see Mulder and Scully sitting alone in a restaurant, a la Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks. We also get a distinct cyberpunk, Blade Runner feel, with the neon lighting and drizzling rain.

In fact, this whole first scene goes without more than a single word of dialogue from either Mulder or Scully. The chattiest character in the scene is a computer program that takes their order and serves them sushi from an automated drawer. “Yum,” it says, over and over, even as Mulder receives a blobfish by mistake. Scully takes a picture for Instagram.

Mulder enters into the kitchen to complain, only to be confronted by silent, staring robots. He leaves, because who would try to confront a red-eyed robot wielding a knife?

When Mulder goes to pay, he declines to leave a tip. Why would you, when you got a blobfish and there are no human servers to speak of? Things get even worse when the machine doesn’t return his card and the restaurant seemingly glitches, trapping the two inside for a short, terrifying period. Guess you shouldn’t be rude to your chip reader.

Once they escape, Scully is picked up by an automated car. It takes her on a scary, too-fast ride, but at least she makes it back in one piece. Meanwhile, Mulder’s GPS won’t cooperate. It leads him back to the restaurant where he locks “eyes” with the kitchen robots through the front window. A reminder on his phone pops up, telling Mulder that he can still tip the chefs.

It’s going to take a lot more to persuade Mulder, however. This is a man who’s been probed by aliens at least a couple of times.

More drones, more problems

Throughout the dialogue-light episode, both Scully and Mulder experience various technological issues. It starts out annoying enough, in an everyday sort of way. Scully’s security system won’t respond to her code. Mulder can’t get through to the credit card company to freeze his account. Robotic assistants don’t understand voice commands.

Then, things get creepier. Mulder starts to hear the buzz of a drone, which he finds hovering outside his home. Even worse, it eventually hacks into his television and displays footage from just outside the window. Mulder defeats it with a baseball bat, but other drones come along to collect their fallen comrade and menace Mulder.

Scully has her own drone-related problems. She hears a similar buzz and wanders outside, which seems like an urge these agents should have killed long ago. It drops a package on her front walk and then takes off.

Scully takes the thing in and opens the package, like a complete rube. You’re better than this, Scully, but the plot demands you act like an idiot right now. Inside is a robotic vacuum, which she immediately turns out and sets loose to map her home.

The not-Roomba is pretty convenient, to be sure. It cleans up some spilled things and starts rooting around underneath her bed. There, it uncovers a “personal massager” and asks Scully if she would like to order another one. No thanks, she says, stuffing the old one into her pocket. Oh, Scully, that’s what bedside tables are for. Now you’ll have carpet fibers everywhere.

Et Tu, refrigerator?

At the point, she tries to dispose of the vacuum in an outdoor trash can. There, she notices that the automated car is still in her driveway. Unfortunately, all Scully does is give a shrug and walk away, never noticing that the two devices are communicating.

She really should catch on, especially when things get even more personal. Both she and Mulder start to get odd messages on their phones and other devices. “Why celebrate birthdays? Is life so important?” her computers ask. Her refrigerator starts to shoot ice cubes at her and insinuates things about her blood sugar.

Mulder, meanwhile, encounters a flood of tiny drones that chase him out of his house. He goes to Scully’s, where he discovers that she’s locked inside and that the fireplace is leaking gas.

“Why is your house so much nicer than mine?” he whines from the other side of the door. Meanwhile, Scully uses a fireplace poker to get through the glass door, just as a fireball erupts out of the fireplace.

They’re then chased around by a flock of drones and end up sheltering in a factory. Mulder and Scully are further chased by an array of robots, ending up in an office with an actual bullet printing machine. Mulder smashes the device after it fires off a few rounds, but it’s only a temporary measure.

Another robot finally breaks through the door and … hands Mulder his phone? “Last chance to tip. Be kind to our workers” says the message that pops up. He begrudgingly tips them 10%. “We learn from you,” comes the reply message.

“We have to be better teachers,” Mulder says. They walk freely out of the factory.

THE X-FILES: L-R: Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny in the “Rm9sbG93ZXJz” episode of THE X-FILES airing Wednesday, Feb. 28 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2018 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Shane Harvey/FOX

Living with artificial intelligence

Later, we pull out from a robot-themed copy of Nighthawks, only now it’s in a far cozier diner. Cozy really is the right word, from the gentle diner waitress to the soft, warm light that envelops Scully and Mulder. Mulder pays in cash. They default to checking their phones in silence, but Scully thinks better of it. She puts her phone down and takes Mulder’s hand. Soon enough, he holds her hand back. They sit together, still silent, but now companionable and human.

Apart from the title, there’s a lot to like about “Rm9sbG93ZXJz.” It takes risks that decently pay off, from the no-dialogue first scene to the silliness of robots scrounging for tips. Plus, the art direction (David Hadaway) and cinematography (Craig Wrobleski) help the episode stand out. It’s nothing groundbreaking, to be sure, but the visuals of “Rm9sbG93ZXJz” are still interesting. The techno-horror scenes are eerily shot, with moody lighting and a few well-placed zooms.

The plot is definitely simple, but refreshingly so. Sometimes, it can feel like The X-Files is bloated with alien mythology or long-winded explanations about Bigfoot. It’s nice to take a break and a little bit of a narrative risk, too.

To be sure, there are a few stumbling blocks. I still can’t understand why a factory office would have a 3D bullet printer or why Scully thinks it’s okay to throw a “personal massager” underneath her bed. Still, those are minor quibbles.

THE X-FILES: L-R: David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson in the “Rm9sbG93ZXJz” episode of THE X-FILES airing Wednesday, Feb. 28 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2018 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Shane Harvey/FOX

The answer to the problem?

As for the ending, there’s no grand resolution to their problem. That actually works quite well. Sure, we may not all live in cities where you can get deliveries via drone or sushi made by Kawasaki robots. However, practically every adult you meet has a smartphone and an Internet connection. That and a couple of social media profiles is enough to make you feel pretty darn surveilled.

But, what are you going to do? Sure, you could do away with pictures of your food (no one needs to see Mulder and a blobfish, anyway), but what about your email? Your Amazon account? How will you keep in touch with family and friends? How will you make a living? The vast majority of us are obliged to live in this interconnected world, or else risk being left behind.

Next: The X-Files season 11: War is a monster-making machine

So, it kind of works that Mulder capitulates to the robots and the pair simply walks away. They’re rightfully cautious by the end, but you get the sense that Scully isn’t about to rip out her security system. Mulder said it best when he mumbled, “we have to be better teachers.”

The machines aren’t leaving. We have to learn how to best live with them. With that in mind, we had better behave ourselves.