The X-Files season 11: What do digital donuts taste like, anyway?

“This” was more intriguing than “My Struggle III”, the season 11 opener for The X-Files. However, it led viewers on a bumpy road.

Perhaps I’m being too demanding, but for all of its successes, “This” kept pulling its punches. It’s not a bad episode at all, especially compared to the clunkers of season 10 of The X-Files. But it seemed almost muted, as if it couldn’t decide where it was going and kept puttering about in the middle lane instead.

To be fair, there were genuinely good things about the episode, which was written and directed by Glen Morgan. Richard Langly’s reappearance was a genuinely interesting way to bring back a character, especially one that was already thoroughly steeped in technology.

Even better, all of that tech so beloved by Langly has turned against him. It’s not a fun realization for the character, but it was a neat little for the audience.

Meanwhile, Scully gets to kick butt instead of lolling around helplessly in a hospital bed. Plus, it’s darkly satisfying to see a woman as a menacing villain in Erika Price.

In the original 1990s run, it often felt like women were bit players. There was Scully, sure, but she frequently appeared to be a lonely token. She occasionally crossed paths with other intelligent women, but they rarely stuck around. It’s a real shame — I would have paid good money to see C.C.H. Pounder become a regular as Agent Lucy Kazdin.

A genuinely formidable female villain was even more rare. There was Marita Covarrubias, sure, but she wasn’t exactly frightening. Hopefully, we’ll see Erika Price do more than smirk menacingly at Mulder.

The difference between good and great

Still, there are many questions and things I wanted explored or changed. With a little modification, this episode could have been truly great. Instead, it was entertaining but muddled.

I would have wanted to see more of this strange afterlife — again, maybe start with a weird, dreamy recreation. We aren’t sure what to think at first, especially when we see characters that should be dead. As the audience, we learn along with Langly that this isn’t real. Then cut to Mulder and Scully, perhaps.

Also, what was the deal with the curly-haired assassin? We understand that he is employed by the Russian contractors, sure. But how does he survive such a nasty blow to the head? Why does he return at the end of the episode? We don’t need to learn more about his backstory, but a few more details would be nice. At this point, his character is an abrupt cipher.

Ultimately, “This” just couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. If it was meant to be a funny episode, then make it thoroughly funny. Things like Mulder awkwardly describing Scully as “adorbs” or Langly’s assertion that, in his afterlife, the Patriots never win (admittedly satisfying) don’t quite cut it.

Show us a sad, digitized Tom Brady. Let me know: are computer hot dogs and donuts that good? In the real world, allow Mulder to be taken down by a surly teen for his dated use of slang, even. Maybe someone could get a good dig in about Mulder’s sudden love of his bran muffin (sorry, I still can’t let that go).

Full Mulder

In other moments, “This” seemed like it wanted to be a serious conspiracy episode. Moments that could have easily been strange and funny were played straight. Take Mulder and Scully’s midnight field trip to Arlington National Cemetery. They engage in some Byzantine math problems and wander around the tombstones until they discover Ronald Pakula’s (a.k.a., “Deep Throat’s”) final resting place. Mulder easily discovers a hidden QR code on the stone and the pair are good to go.

Perhaps this is too silly, but wouldn’t it have been more fun to see Mulder engage in a Goldblum in Independence Day style of circular logic — so ridiculous that you’re assuredly in a funny episode? Give us Mulder with a hint of crazy. Give us Mulder with a crazy conspiracy board, full of red string and everything. Let’s go full Mulder.

Mythos versus laughs

In fact, some of the best episodes of The X-Files are its funniest. For all of the creepy aliens and frightening government conspiracies in its mythos, The X-Files doesn’t always have to take itself so seriously.

For example, “Bad Blood” is great largely because it allows Scully and Mulder to be goofy, mistake-making humans. Also, it has Luke Wilson as a small-town Texas sheriff, complete with Scully crushing hard on him.

If “This” should be a more serious episode, then let’s really dig into the horror of Price’s artificial afterlife. Show us what it’s like to live knowing that you are, in Langly’s words, a “digital slave”.

Next: The X-Files season 11: Chris Carter’s missed opportunities

Still, “This” wasn’t all bad. There are plenty of interesting twists and enough to keep fans and newcomers watching. It’s just that it will likely never measure up to some of the greatest episodes of the series. And isn’t that what we want for Scully, Mulder, and all of their associates?

Next week, we’ll check out “Plus One”, directed by Kevin Hooks and written by series creator Chris Carter. It involves a mysterious string of deaths, in which people are seemingly killed by their own doppelgangers. Sounds like a more standard “monster of the week” episode, though we’ll be sure to find out on Wednesday.

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