Milo Ventimiglia learned you can’t vote in your own Emmys category as he tried to vote for co-star Sterling K. Brown

Your boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia is nominated alongside his This Is Us co-star Sterling K. Brown in the Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Emmys category. Ventimiglia recently learned that you can’t cast a vote in your own category — by trying to cast a ballot for Brown, not himself.

Note: This article contains spoilers for season 1 of This Is Us. 

Emmys rules can be dense and confusing for anyone, even those who are actually nominated for the awards.

Many of us assume that nominees are able to cast votes for themselves, but as Ventimiglia discovered, they aren’t able to vote in the category in which they’re nominated…even for a competitor.

Ventimiglia, who plays Brown’s father on breakout 2016 NBC drama This Is Us, turned in a gut-punching emotional performance in the series’ first season as Jack Pearson, father to Randall (Brown), Kate (Chrissy Metz), and Kevin (Justin Hartley) and wife to Rebecca (Mandy Moore).

The first season, which spans in three timelines — the siblings’ birth (1980), childhood years (1989–1995), and the present day (2016–2017) — saw both Ventimiglia and Brown afforded multiple opportunities to impress members of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.

Ventimiglia handled Jack’s emotional and difficult storylines, from losing one of his and Rebecca’s triplets and deciding to adopt a black infant (Randall) born on the same day and abandoned by his biological father to debilitating alcoholism throwing a wrench in his marraige, with grace and skill.

But Brown’s range and power as an actor also underline why he, too, earned a nom from the Academy in the lead actor category. Randall’s arc revolves largely around him, as a married father of two girls, reconnecting with his biological father, William, only to have to watch him succumb to stomach cancer.

So it’s no surprise that Ventimiglia, who told Entertainment Weekly recently that he experiences “the show from the inside, and also from the outside,” would have been moved enough by his co-star’s performance to cast a vote for him in the upcoming Emmy Awards.

And, needless to say, he was disappointed when he discovered he could not.

As Ventimiglia explained to EW‘s Dan Snierson:

"I’ll tell you what, I went on the Emmy website and I tried to vote for him, and I realized I couldn’t vote in my own category, and it kind of broke my heart. I was voting for Sterling. I was in my trailer, and I was like, “I’ve got some time. I’m going to vote.” And I went on to vote and my category wasn’t there, and I was so pissed. I ended up walking over to his trailer and saying, “Hey man, I tried to vote for you, but it wouldn’t let me. So I’m just telling you that I wanted to vote for you.”"

Emmy nominations are voted on by “peer groups,” meaning that actors nominate and vote for actors, writers nominate and vote for writers, and so on. The official rules about judging on Emmys.com state that “only national active Television Academy members who were eligible to vote in the nomination round are eligible to vote in the final round” and that “nominees are not eligible to vote for themselves in the final round of voting.”

Fine, but what about if nominees want to vote for someone else running against them in the same category? As Ventimiglia discovered, the category that you yourself are nominated in does not appear on your ballot.

Ventimiglia and Brown are up against the following other actors in their category:

• Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Robert Ford on Westworld
• Bob Odenkirk as Jimmy McGill on Better Call Saul
• Matthew Rhys as Philip Jennings on The Americans
• Liev Schreiber as Ray Donovan on Ray Donovan
• Kevin Spacey as President Frank Underwood on House Of Cards

As of Wednesday, Brown is considered the frontrunner in the odds.

Next: Why Carrie Coon deserves an Emmy

You can see if Ventimiglia or Brown wins this year’s Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama by tuning in on Sunday, Sept. 17 at 8:00 p.m. ET on ABC.