Between the chamber pots and the greyscale, Samwell Tarly has had a pretty gross start to Game of Thrones season 7. So, what disgusting thing might Sam be forced to do in episode 3? Here are a few guesses:
Poor Sam. He’s arguably the best-intentioned character on Game of Thrones and yet, so far in the show’s seventh season, he’s had to take on some pretty unsettling tasks (and, being the good guy that he is, has taken on said tasks without complaint). In episode 1, there was the needlessly extensive chamber pot scene, showing Sam cleaning up after the Citadel’s maesters, namely after their visits to the bathroom. In episode 2, there was the sneaky surgery in Jorah’s cell to remove his grey scale. Sam’s two for two when it comes to eye-covering-level gross scenes this season. So what stomach-churning activity will Sam be required to take part in during Sunday night’s episode 3? Here are a few possibilities:
Helping the archmaester operate
We’ve already seen Sam swing by the operating room to implore Archmaester Ebrose to help him help Jorah while Ebrose seemed to be performing an autopsy (or perhaps doing some sort of scientific study). It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for a similar scene to unfold this week, only with more focus on the riffling around in an open body cavity. Perhaps Ebrose will summon Sam back to his operating room to admonish him for disobeying orders last week and going rogue with the whole greyscale slicing ordeal. We can see it now: Ebrose yelling at Sam while passing him kidneys and a liver to measure and record in the official Citadel medical log.
Or if we’re going to get dark in our predictions (and considering the show’s history, that seems appropriate), maybe Sam’s undercover, rum-fueled medical procedure on Jorah didn’t go well (have we seen Jorah reappear in the preview videos?) and it’ll be Jorah’s body they’re studying (though, we hope not).
Concocting a potion or elixir
Sam’s been doing a lot of research during his time at the Citadel (and with that library at his disposal who could blame him?). He’s discovered the aforementioned greyscale alternative medical treat, as well as the possibility that Dragonstone is home to a treasure trove of walker-killing Dragon Glass. Maybe in episode 3, his findings lead him to finding a recipe for some kind of elixir or potion to counteract the painful procedure he subjected Jorah to last week. If we’ve learned anything from Hocus Pocus, it’s that ingredients for potions are, as a rule, disgusting.
This one could call for nasty stuff like rotten fruit or greyscale scales or the big toe of a dying man. Whatever it might be, knowing the GoT showrunners’ new-found penchant for showing the audience lengthy, extreme close-ups of foulness, we’d get a long, hard and unasked for look at it.
Bugs. Something with bugs.
Full disclosure: We’re not even sure there are bugs in the Game of Thrones universe. We’re guessing the dragons eat things like small mammals and birds and humans, so it’s unclear. But as any Fear Factor-familiar person would tell you, if you’re going for gross-out, a swarm of creepy, crawly insects is the way to do it.
Maybe Sam will do some more snooping around forbidden corners of the Citadel and uncover a locust nest behind a loose old stone in the wall. And because it’s Game of Thrones, the locusts wouldn’t be your ordinary, run-of-the-mill locusts. They would likely be magical in some aspect and Sam would be responsible for unleashing a full-blown plague. But maybe that would help his pal Jon as he leads his troops to fight for the North.
Changing Little Sam’s linens
Sam enlisted Gilly’s help this season when he was reading up on Dragonstone’s Dragon Glass reserves and there was Little Sam, who’s grown quite a bit since the trio showed up at the Citadel. But he is still a toddler. And we all know what toddlers mean: dirty diapers. Or, perhaps in the pre-Pampers Game of Thrones world, dirty linens or animal skins. The show had no issue giving viewers an in-depth look at the chamber pots of the Citadel’s sick old masters in episode 1, so maybe this time around they’ll skew a little younger in their potty-centric plot points.
Finding a dead body
From everything we know, any deaths that will go down in episode 3 will likely take place at King’s Landing or Casterly Rock or wherever the Daenerys/Tyrion/Jon Snow faction face off against Cersei’s army. But because the show is so known for killing off characters, it wouldn’t be totally shocking for somebody to drop dead (or be poisoned or otherwise brutally murdered) at the Citadel. If that were to be the case, you can bet it would be poor sweet Sam charged with cleaning up the gory mess.
Then again, maybe GoT‘s show runners will give dear Samwell a break this episode. Judging by the episode 3 preview, Sam may not even make an appearance at all.
Next: Game of Thrones season 7: 5 predictions for episode 3, “The Queen’s Justice”
Tune in Sunday night on HBO to see which, if any, of our icky ideas come true. Game of Thrones season 7 episode 3 airs at 9 p.m. ET.