Review: Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom, Bradley W. Schenck

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Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom has a decidedly old-fashioned approach to science fiction, which is equal parts frustrating and fascinating.

Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom sounds like the name of an old sci-fi serial. That appears to be the actual point, though. After all, its subtitle is A Novel of Retropolis. There aren’t many ways to get more blatant about homages and inspirations, although Bradley W. Schenck certainly tries throughout the book (including the end papers, which feature his own artwork and more retro fonts).

In the city of Retropolis, switchboard operator Nola Gardner suddenly finds herself out of a job, but she’s not the only operator suddenly unemployed. So, they band together and hire Dash Kent to take on the case, even though Kent mostly spends his time rescuing cats from the Temple of the Spider God on the moon.

What they end up uncovering is quite a bit more sinister than they expected. (Readers, however, may find this less unexpected, should they have some familiarity with fiction at all.)

The inside of this dust jacket pitches this book as Metropolis and Futurama mixed together. On the one hand, you have pioneering science fiction that actually asks some serious questions about the nature of robots. On the other, you have a Matt Groening animated show that happens to be quite funny (and also surprisingly deep when it wants). To put it another way: It’s impressive that the word derring-do, to my knowledge, doesn’t appear in this book once, because it would not be out of place.

Ultimately, Schenck seems to aim more for the humor side of things. This isn’t a bad thing, but most of the humor tends towards dry and understated. A reader knows that these things are supposed to be funny, but it’s harder and harder to appreciate the same kind of humor when it’s just about the only kind you’ll get through the book’s near-400 pages. Playing everything straight doesn’t make it funnier.

That doesn’t mean that the story doesn’t touch on brief questions of robot nature. In fact, robots have basically unionized and are looking towards changing their relationship with humans further. That’s actually deep and interesting, but the plot focuses more on the more dramatic goings-on, which, fine. That’s the point. But it’s hard not to want to ask more questions on that side of the equation.

Even the technology actually seems quite outdated for the most part, in that they feel like what a writer of pulp sci-fi would use. Info-Slates (itself a decidedly retro name for what are basically tablets) require a switchboard operator to run them. There are rockets, monorails, and pneumatic tubes for transportation. There’s a ridiculous metal named inertium, which, by the power of Science (Schenck emphasizes it, so we can too), renders gravity a moot point. It’s a sharp contrast to the vast majority of current science fiction, which, again, seems to be the point. Schenck does include explanations for some of these things, but those explanations also feel retro. If you can buy in, it’s actually quite interesting.

The problem is that buying in can be tough. The prose often seems choppy and awkward; words and phrases get repeated close together. It’s sometimes used for humor, and those moments are pretty obvious. However, it mostly seems like it’s necessary to remind everyone that Dash uses a ray gun, specifically, multiple times in short succession.

Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom appeals to a smaller subset of science fiction fans, but for those who don’t mind its flaws, it’s a fun read that leaves things open for other novels.

Next: Review: Roar, Cora Carmack

You can find Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom at bookstores now.