Dancing with the Stars, Season 23: Week 3, Night 1, “Face Off Night”

Fast and furious hour brings us a lot of dancing; elimination to be done tomorrow.

How do you do an hour-long Dancing with the Stars show with twelve couples to dance? Well, we on the East Coast don’t learn all the details immediately because the sound malfunctions, but how becomes clear pretty quickly: with very little besides dancing. Each pair of couples tonight get a short joint fluff, dance immediately after each other, and are presented with their scores without any comments from the judges! Poor Bruno, restricted to wearing Richard Nixon’s jacket to entertain us tonight. They’ll talk tomorrow, during the two hour result show. Couples facing off each other do the same type of dance, but choreograph different routines to different music:

Babyface & Allison Holker vs. Jana Kramer & Gleb Savchenko

Jive; “Great Gosh A’Mighty” Little Richard(Babyface & Allison), “Too Many Fish in the Sea” Bette Midler(Jana & Gleb). This is a dance both celebrities worry about being able to do. Jana even declares she can’t do the steps. Babyface is more worried about being able to let go enough. It’s a fear well-founded. He can’t. He’s stiff and restricted through the whole routine until it feels too much like Allison’s dancing around him. His steps aren’t the best either. Jana might not do the hardest or best jive, but she has no problem letting go. Still, the scores end up being close. Julianne even gives them both a 6. Carrie Ann gives Babyface & Allison a 7 and Jana & Gleb a 6, but the other two give Jana & Gleb the 7s and Babyface & Allison the 6s, so Jana & Gleb win the immunity 26 to 24.

Rick Perry & Emma Slater vs. Vanilla Ice & Witney Carson

Paso doble; “Tamacun” Rodrigo y Gabriela(Rick & Emma), “Save Tonight” Zayde Wolf(Vanilla Ice & Witney). Both guys also get injuries, Rick spraining an ankle, and Vanilla Ice cutting a wrist. Rick’s the one who makes imprudent comments about it though. For the dance itself, he actually isn’t cringe-worthy this time. But he pretty much stomps through it with no variety of stance or expression. Vanilla Ice & Witney do a performance he makes worth watching, even if it isn’t the most paso doble-y routine ever. Perhaps that Rick & Emma were more traditional helps them, because they somehow tie in the scores at 23 each. But while each gets one 5 and three 6s, Vanilla Ice & Witney get it from Julianne, while Rick & Emma get it from Len. Thankfully Len, as head judge, is the tiebreaker. So Vanilla Ice & Witney win. We can still hope we’ll be rid Rick tomorrow.

James Hinchcliffe & Sharna Burgess vs. Ryan Lochte & Cheryl Burke

Cha Cha; “Big Trouble” Outasight(James & Sharna), “If It Ain’t Love” Jason DeRulo(Ryan & Cheryl). They’re relaxing a little with Ryan now. The fluff intersperses James talking about how formidable an opponent Olympian Ryan is with clips of him being silly. James continues to be good. Maybe is cha cha isn’t at the stunning level yet, but this is the first undisputedly good dance of the night. Ryan & Cheryl are entertaining, but gimmicky, and she definitely does  a lot more dancing than he does. That makes it rather surprising when Len raises his 7 paddle for them with a “Your best yet.” But he gives James & Sharna the same score. Meanwhile, Ryan & Cheryl get three 6s, and James & Sharna two more 7s plus an 8 from Julianne, so they win 29 to 25.

Terra Jolé & Sasha Farber vs. Calvin Johnson, Jr. & Lindsay Arnold

Viennese Waltz; “Iris” Goo Goo Dolls(Terra & Sasha), “Woman’s World” BJ the Chicago Kid(Calvin & Lindsay). Shortest member of the cast versus the tallest. Har har. Terra & Sasha decide the song is about being afraid to be seen by the world, and Terra overcoming that. That makes it strange that they use lighting that makes it harder to see the two of them at critical moments. But when she’s visible, Terra does seem to be dancing pretty well. Calvin & Lindsay do a more straightforward romantic number. He was worried about being delicate, but he manages to kill it with the sweetness. With the moves too. It’s good enough for straight 8s from the judges. The 32 not only wins them the face off, it wins the night! Terra & Sasha get two 8s themselves, from Carrie Ann & Julianne, and two 7s for 30.

Amber Rose & Maks Chmerkovskiy vs. Maureen McCormick & Artem Chingvintsev

Salsa; “Booty” Jennifer Lopez feat. Iggy Azalea(Amber & Maks), “Tres Deseos” Gloria Estefan(Maureen & Artem). Amber & Maks are quick to realize why they got the song they did. They go with it, and the salsa’s a dance where Amber can definitely shake her ass. Although Maks shakes his a little too, because hey, he’s got a good one. This is definitely fun to watch, although Amber has to get more confident in her moves as it goes along. Maureen & Artem, meanwhile, have to worry about her back issues, and maybe realize they can’t compete with that. So they go more traditional ballroom style, and that they do good. Maybe even better from a technical viewpoint. Still, it’s kind of disappointing when three of the judges only give Amber & Maks 6s, and while Carrie Ann gives her a 7, straight 7s for Maureen & Artem give them the win, 28 to 25.

Laurie Hernandez & Val Chmerkovskiy vs. Marilu Henner & Derek Hough

Tango; “Into the Sunset” Crystal Lake feat. Kifi(Laurie & Val), “Battle Cry” Imagine Dragons(Marilu & Derek). Poor Marilu, having to face off against Laurie. The fluff does its best to make this seem competitive by talking about Marilu having more experience of the emotions they need to express. But Laurie finds emotions enough within her, and what she does technically is far more and far better than anything anyone else does tonight. Marilu is, perhaps, a little bit mature in her emotional performance, but her and Derek’s routine is much simpler. Except that Laurie & Val did a little too much; Carrie Ann goes into lift police mode and takes her score down to 7. They get 8s from the other three. Marilu & Derek get straight 7s, so Laurie & Val win 31 to 28.

Next: 21 Star Wars Books You Should Read

Tomorrow, with no presidential debates, there will be another two hour results show, starting at 8. One assumes it’ll be not unlike last week. We already know the judges will talk then, the way they couldn’t tonight, so that’ll likely fill up the first hour. One wonders if their comments will then be fact-checked during the second hour…