5 Albums We Need to Hurry Up and Get Here

We check the music release calendar for the back half of 2016 and pick our most anticipated albums from the hottest artists.

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Music releases for the calendar year have always worked in an offbeat manner. Part of the issue is the Grammys, and their bizarre instance, in the face of modernity to still treat the award calendar year from October 1st to September 30th, which means that albums released in the 4th quarter of the year (at Christmas) aren’t eligible until the next year. This means there’s always a glut of releases in September as those artists trying to aim for an award duck in under the eligibility wire.

That’s then followed by the Christmas sale season of October-December. Even though hard media of records and CDs may not be under the Christmas tree, having a hot single the week of Christmas or just before is a boon in this day and age when the easiest thing to buy one’s teenage relations is an iTunes gift card.

So which artists are aiming to have a release in 2016? And which ones are we looking forward to the most? (And which ones are busy trying to pull the next Beyonce and will drop without warning in the middle of the night?)

Bruce Springsteen, “Chapter and Verse,” Columbia Records (Release Date: September 23)

Sitting at Number 3 in the Amazon Top 10 right now, this heavily pre-ordered companion album to
Brice Springsteen’s auto biography is one that crosses age groups and genres. Your grandmother listened to Bruce back when he was a Dylan wannabe. Your mom listened to Bruce when he was the Boss. Your older cousins listened to Bruce when he was being political in the aftermath of 9/11.

And now it’s time for you to do the same. Seriously. Four generations of fans cannot be wrong, and this compilation album, designed as an aural companion piece to Springsteen’s autobiography of the same name is the perfect place for the latest Millennials that are coming of age to discover when the rest of us have been since the 1970s.

DNCE, (Untitled Debut), Republic Records (October Release)

This one’s already been delayed once. For the older crowd the answer to “who the heck is DNCE?” is “The Band that the smart Jonas brother put together after he got tired of being a Jonas Brother in a Jonas Brothers band.” For the rest of us, please use the the teenage scream depository provided for the comfort of others until you have calmed down.

DNCe’s debut album was supposed to be released in time for the Grammy eligibility period back in July. Exactly who decided upon the choice to delay it until the Christmas sales season and why is as yet unknown.

Metallica, “Hardwired… to Self-Destruct”, Blackened Recordings (November 18, 2016)

Do you here that fast rhythmic pounding? Just in case the 1980s were back again enough for everyone, Metallica and the ragey thrashy white boy are on the list to make a come back this Thanksgiving. At the end of last week, the metal outfit, who have been semi-dormant for over a decade, released their first single track and a trailer for their upcoming album Hardwired….To Self-Destruct.

For those who were fans of the band before the sold out in the mid-1980s, this was the return to form they had craved. This was the angry trash metal of those entitled white boys who got a kick out of the destruction of disco, and who hated hip hop. Is it really such a surprise that such music would be making a comeback in the time of Trump?

Lady Gaga (Untitled) (When She Damn Well Pleases)

Are you kidding? we have no idea if and when this one is coming. And Gaga fancies herself near Beyocne level, so we may not know until we wake up and find it arrived at 3am.

What we do know is that the first single is coming, and coming soon enough that it will be reliable for this year’s Grammys. The single, “Perfect Illusion,” is being touted on her website currently as coming in September, which will at least give us a glimpse of the direction she’s planning to go in this time around. And with Deadline announcing that the remake of A Star Is Born starring her and Bradley Cooper is a go, chances are it won’t be long until we hear more.

Missy Elliott, “Block Party”, (When She Damn Well Pleases)

Was there any bigger tease at the end of 2015 when Missy Elliott released “W.T.F.” with Pharrell Williams? Elliott had been teasing her seventh album, (produced by long time collaborator Timbaland, natch) tentatively entitled Block Party for over a year now, and we’re no closer to seeing any sort of release date.

Instead Missy’s been popping up everywhere with everything except a new album. Instead, on Superbowl Sunday this year, she dropped a follow-up single, entitled “Pep Rally.” Then she turned up as a guest appearance on long time former protégée Tweet single “Somebody Else Will.” She even showed up on “This Is for My Girls,” Michelle Obama’s charity single, and she did Carpool Karaoke with her over the summer. But any sign of an album? Nada.

Until we hear anything more, we will just have to wait for it to hurry up and get here.