Orange is the New Black: The 21 craziest moments thus far

17 of 22

Alex buries a body in the vegetable garden

Alex Vause doesn’t seem that present throughout season 3 and into season 4 — rather, she’s very preoccupied with being killed, of all things. This fear seems unfounded (especially to Piper) until the finale of season 3, when the prison’s infrastructure starts to break down as a result of unhappy employees. The COs walk out on the job and leave the security staff thinned out, allowing the perfect opportunity for people to slip through the cracks unnoticed. Alex is cornered in the greenhouse by an associate of the drug cartel with which she was once involved. In the midst of his attack, none other than Lolly Whitehill comes across the scene, and in a surprising turn of events kills this hitman with her own boot! So Lolly is crazy and dangerous.

So at this point Alex and Lolly are stuck with a dead body. Inmate Frieda Berlin (Dale Soules) walks in on this conundrum, and out of boredom offers to help them dispose of the body. How? By chopping it up, of course! Alex has access to wood shop tools and Frieda seems to know too much about how to effectively dismember a human body.

So the odd trio spend an afternoon on this odd task, and finish it up by planting the body parts in the vegetable garden. In a way it’s kind of beautiful, right? A murderer is murdered and then returned to the earth as fertilizer for his murderers’ produce. Poetry!