THE X-FILES – SEASON 8: Agents Mulder (David Duchovny, L) and Scully (Gillian Anderson, R) in the ‘Alone’ episode of THE X-FILES which originally aired on Sun., May 6, 2001 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. Episode was directed by co executive producer Frank Spotnitz. (Photo by FOX via Getty Images)
New to The X-Files? Check out 25 of the show’s best standalone episodes to get started in this spooky series.
If you were even remotely weird or spooky in the 1990’s, then you were surely a fan of The X-Files. Even if you were just a casual fan of pop culture or popular TV, then you’ve at least heard of the exploits of FBI Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, played by David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.
Even today, their adventures have remained indelible parts of American pop culture and beyond. With recent interest in the show and a six-episode miniseries revisiting it, The X-Files seems to be as popular as ever. It’s even been turned into a children’s book, set to debut this summer. You’d better believe I’m getting a copy for myself, too.
One of the most popular aspects of The X-Files was its overarching focus on aliens and government conspiracies, popularly referred to as its “mytharc”. Episodes that focused on the mytharc often drew on one another, building on the tension and increasing paranoia of the concept.
However, it’s difficult to sustain that for ten seasons. Both viewers and showrunners would likely have gotten bored way before The X-Files could have truly gathered steam. To introduce a little variety, creators therefore interspersed the mytharc episodes with “monster-of-the-week” stories. In these tales, Mulder and Scully encountered anything from sewer monsters, to shapeshifters, to Garry Shandling himself.
These standalone episodes could be enjoyed on their own merits, without all of the narrative weight hefted about by the mytharc. They were also opportunities to inject some levity into the series. While monster-of-the-week episodes could certainly be as creepy and unsettling as any alien-focused story, they could also be riotously funny. In fact, many argue that some of the very best episodes of The X-Files were the ones that indulged in a little humor.
While I’ve tried to avoid spoilers for these episodes, you may still want to tread with caution. If you want to watch along at home, I’m sorry to announce that The X-Files has left Netflix. However, it’s still around on Hulu and in numerous DVD and Blu-Ray collections. A little sleuthing will be sure to uncover the episodes you need.
And, always remember: the truth is out there.
1. “Humbug”
The X-Files always had a way with not only monsters or lights in the sky, but strange people. At its best, the show never really made fun of the strangest amongst us. Rather, it often took a more compassionate, even-handed view. It both recognized the humanity in all of us, but neither handled people with kid-gloves.
Such an ethos is prominently on display in “Humbug”, in season two. In this case, Mulder and Scully visit Gibsonton, Florida (a.k.a. “Gibtown”), a popular wintering spot for carnival and sideshow performers. Though the plot of the episode is pure fiction, Gibtown is a real location in Florida that has historically played host to circus folk over the winter.
Of course, The X-Files is rarely content to sit with real-life weirdness. In “Humbug”, the FBI duo must investigate the strange series of attacks that have plagued the small Florida community. A loving father (and “alligator man”, by the way) has become the latest victim. Mulder and Scully must investigate the killings and determine the true source of the trouble.
“Humbug” manages to strike a fine balance between remaining respectful and acknowledging the utter strangeness of Gibtown and its inhabitants. The local postmaster, Mr. Nutt (Michael J. Anderson), is a little person who frequently takes offense and offers up a series of articulate but self-important lectures. Of course, there’s also The Enigma, a self-made sideshow freak too busy eating raw fish to pontificate on his position as a “freak”. Either way, it’s highly entertaining and thoughtful television.
2. “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose”
Often enough, it’s difficult simply to write an episode with just one theme. Writers, actors, directors, and other creative folk already have their hands full creating an effectively spooky episode. Other times, it’s enough to create a funny episode, or a sad one. Yet, sometimes, they are able to get all of their ducks fully in a row and present a tale that hits all the buttons.
“Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose” follows Mulder and Scully as they investigate the murders of fortune tellers in the St. Paul, Minnesota area. When a flamboyant “psychic” named the Stupendous Yappi turns out to be little more than a charlatan, local detectives and our intrepid FBI agents appear to be at the end of their rope.
Enter Clyde Bruckman, played by Peter Boyle. He finds the body of an unfortunate fortune teller in his dumpster. When he naturally reports this to the police, Mulder and Scully take notice of Bruckman’s unique talents and ask him to assist in the investigation.
Why would they be interested? At first, it seems curious indeed. Clyde is a morose insurance salesman with a blisteringly dry wit. However, unlike the Stupendous Yappi, it turns out that he’s the real deal. Bruckman, you see, is an actual psychic. Well, in some respects, anyway. It soon becomes clear that he can only really see someone’s looming death.
He’s not exactly happy about being able to foretells deaths and other disasters, though. It’s not even much of an advantage in the insurance biz, as he just seems to creep out potential clients when describing their eventual demises.
Still, he’s ultimately a touching, even tragic figure. Thanks to an amazing performance by Peter Boyle and writing by Darin Morgen, you’ll likely find yourself both laughing and crying within a single episode.
3. “Paper Hearts”
At his core, FBI Agent Fox Mulder really only has one mission: to find out what happened to his younger sister, Samantha. She disappeared when the two were both fairly young. While others claimed that it was a kidnapping, he believes that she was actually abducted by extraterrestrials. This traumatic event thereafter drove Mulder to look for the “truth”, and specifically to investigate what appears to be a vast government conspiracy.
Most of the time, alien-focused episodes of The X-Files tend to draw from the sprawling “mytharc” that informed much of the series. However, the above paragraph is all you really need to know in order to fully comprehend “Paper Hearts”, from the show’s fourth season.
This time around, characters are beginning to wonder if Samantha’s disappearance may have more to do with a very real and tangible monster. Specifically, attention has turned to John Lee Roche (Tom Noonan), a serial killer who has since been imprisoned for his crimes.
How, exactly, do Mulder and Scully become tangled up with Roche? First, Mulder has a dream. Specifically, it is a very creepy dream in which a red light leads him to an unremarkable park in Virginia. When he wakes and travels to the real-life park, he discovers a girl’s skeleton. Investigators determine that she is one of Roche’s victims.
However, as Scully conducts an autopsy on the remains, she discovers that Roche may have been claiming lives far earlier than detectives had previously believed. Was Samantha one of those unfortunate girls?
Much of the acclaim for this episode centers on David Duchovny’s performance as a grieving older brother. Tom Noonan also deserves acclaim for his truly frightening depiction of a murderer. There are no ghosts or aliens in “Paper Hearts”, but you will feel chilled to the bone nonetheless.
4. “Drive”
Once upon a time, there was a little known actor known as Bryan Cranston. Before he rose to fame as Walter White on Breaking Bad or even Malcolm’s dad on Malcolm in the Middle, Cranston appeared on The X-Files. And, believe it or not, his starring episode is actually pretty good.
Mulder and Scully investigate the unusual death of a woman, who is assumed to be the victim of a kidnapping by Patrick Crump (Cranston). However, when the police finally stop the car driven by Crump through the Nevada desert and take the woman to safety, the unexpected occurs. Sitting in the back of a police car, she begins to panic and bang her head against the window. In short order, her head explodes.
Naturally, this is a case for the X-files team. While investigating on location, though, Mulder is kidnapped by Crump himself. As they drive, Mulder realizes that Crump is in severe pain. The only thing that seems to ease his agony is to move west. Moving especially fast, such as in a speeding car, helps even more.
Though Crump initially does little to endear himself – he brandishes a gun and utters anti-Semitic remarks – Mulder eventually agrees to help him. The confused police and other emergency workers following them do not help matters, however.
Scully, meanwhile, does her best scientific investigation thing and discovers a possible source for Crump’s malady. But, will her research and Mulder’s quick thinking be enough to save Crump and others?
5. “Darkness Falls”
Environmentalism has never been quite so creepy as in “Darkness Falls”. Thankfully, given that this is a first season episode, both Scully and Mulder manage to make it out alive. It would have made the next 182 episodes a little awkward.
The story begins in Washington state’s Olympic National Forest. Loggers have been killed by a mysterious swarm of glowing, green bugs. FBI agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are called in to investigate, of course. They’re accompanied by Larry Moore, a park ranger, and Steve Humphreys, head of security for a local logging company.
Humphreys maintains that this is all the work of eco-terrorists, who have been in the area recently. This hypothesis begins to crack when the group finds a gigantic cocoon suspended in a tree containing a corpse. Later, when one of the said eco-terrorists, a man named Doug Spinney, crosses their path, he says the danger is from a different source. Those glowing bugs are to blame, you see. This is difficult to believe, or at least until the same bugs begin to descend upon their cabin as the sunlight fades.
“Darkness Falls” is admittedly campy. It’s from the first season, after all, when the series was still finding its legs (though already making a considerable mark). However, it strikes a good balance between the goofy strangeness and genuine menace. The remote woods of the Olympic National Forest do become terribly dark and menacing once the sun sets, after all.
6. “Beyond the Sea”
The X-Files really had something for creepy, possibly paranormal murderers. We’ve already discussed John Lee Roche, played by Tom Noonan in “Paper Hearts”. However, he’s not the only scary, yet compelling killer. There’s also Luther Lee Boggs (guess The X-Files writing team really took the three-name killer lesson to heart). As played by Brad Dourif in this first season episode, Boggs is a fantastically frightening presence. He very nearly overshadows Dana Scully herself.
However, the episode does begin with Dana Scully. She’s first seen spending time with her parents, William and Margaret, at her home. After they leave, she falls asleep on the sofa. Late that night, Scully wakes up to see a vision of her father sitting in a chair across from her, speaking but making no sound. The telephone rings. When Scully looks back to the chair, the apparition has disappeared.
The call is from her mother. She tells Scully that her father has just died of a heart attack.
Meanwhile, a couple is kidnapped in North Carolina. Mulder tells Scully that imprisoned serial killer Luther Lee Boggs claims to have had psychic visions of the kidnapping. He offers to help authorities, as long as his death sentence is commuted. Mulder is skeptical; he believes that Boggs might be orchestrating the kidnapping with a partner.
Scully, meanwhile, is chilled by another vision of her father in the prison. Boggs also sings “Beyond the Sea”, which was played at her father’s funeral. For the rest of the episode, she must battle her inherent skepticism and the growing sense that Boggs may be onto something. It is a heart-rending, chilling tale that added much-needed depth to Scully’s character.
7. “Triangle”
“Triangle” is often touted for its technical achievements, namely the one where the entire episode is apparently shot in four uninterrupted takes. Of course, the steadicams used by crew could only take up to four minutes of film, so clever editing naturally came into play. However, the episode is also rightfully known for its interesting, time-hopping story.
The episode begins with Fox Mulder, found unconscious in the ocean. The crew of the Queen Anne takes him aboard. When Mulder comes to, he tries to explain to the captain that the ship has disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle in 1939, and has just reappeared in 1998. However, the highly skeptical reaction of the crew and a radio broadcast convince Mulder that he is the one traveling through time. It appears that he is now in 1939.
While on board, Mulder must deal with Nazis (lead by a man who looks incredibly similar to series baddie, The Smoking Man) and a woman who could be an exact copy of Scully herself. The Nazis, it seems, are looking for something called “Thor’s Hammer.” However, instead of this “Hammer” being a weapon, it turns out to be a scientist with the capability of building it. Such a person would be very useful to the Axis powers, considering that World War II has just begun. Mulder must fight against the Nazis and also find a way back to 1998.
Meanwhile, the modern Scully works with The Lone Gunmen, a trio of counterculture nerd allies, to figure out where Mulder has gone. When they discover the drifting Queen Anne, it is eerily empty. Will Mulder ever return to the present time? “Triangle” is a smart thriller episode that takes great advantage of the wibbly-wobbly time travel concept.
8. “Home”
Fair warning: this is a gross, violent episode. In fact, it was deemed so disturbing that, for many years, it was difficult to catch reruns of the episode on television. Thanks to the age of on-demand viewing, however, nervous producers and network heads can’t really stand in your way. Since it’s often been cited as one of the best X-Files episodes, it’s really worth your time. If you can stomach it, of course.
“Home” begins in the small community of Home, Pennsylvania. Everything there seems truly idyllic, down to the kids playing baseball in a field and a sheriff named, no kidding, Andy Taylor. However, those kids playing in the sandlot uncover a terrible secret that will soon unraveling Home’s sense of well-being. They discover a body.
Specifically, they discover the corpse of a infant marred by numerous and severe birth defects. Mulder and Scully are called in. When Scully conducts an autopsy, she finds that the infant has inhaled soil, meaning that it was buried alive. Their attention soon turns to the Peacock brothers, a reclusive trio whose home is right next to the crime scene.
Sheriff Taylor tells them that the Peacock family has been living in the home since the Civil War. They have no electricity, heat, or running water. He also implies that the insular family has subjected itself to inbreeding through the generations. However, as far as anyone can tell, only the brothers are left. There are no women, it seems, to produce a baby.
Mulder and Scully begin to suspect that the brothers may have kidnapped a woman and are holding her hostage in their booby-trapped home. Of course, the Peacocks don’t like all of this growing attention. This leads to increasingly violent acts and a startling revelation of what exactly lies within their domicile.
9. “Squeeze”
Even if you don’t know him by name, Eugene Tooms is one of the most famous villains on The X-Files roster. In fact, “Squeeze”, the first episode that features Tooms, is the very first “monster-of-the-week” episode ever released by the show. Given that “Squeeze” is only the third episode of the first season, even early viewers must have known that The X-Files was something very, very different.
The episode begins with the murder of a Baltimore man named George Usher. He is the third in a series of crimes wherein the victim’s liver has been removed. The baffling case is assigned to agent Tom Colton (Donal Logue), who then asks Dana Scully for help.
He could really use the assistance, as the details of the murders are strange indeed. Each murder had no real entry points. No tools or instruments were used – that is, the livers were removed by hand. Furthermore, when Mulder does some research, he discovers that eerily similar murders occurred in both 1933 and 1963.
When Scully and Mulder return to the crime scene, they discover Eugene Tooms (Doug Hutchison) crawling through the building’s air vents. Though they detain him, Colton eventually lets the suspect go. He argues that there’s simply no concrete evidence to hold him, though Mulder claims to have matched Tooms’ fingerprints with an oddly elongated one found at the scene.
When the pair visit a detective who had worked on the 1933 cases, it soon becomes clear that Tooms is their man. But, how could have possibly have been active then and still have not aged? What is he doing with the livers? How is he gaining entrance to places that, by all rights, are locked up tight?
10. “The Host”
If Eugene Tooms was an impressive monster of the week, then you should really keep an eye out for Flukeman. No, seriously. Maybe go check your local wastewater processing plant, just to be certain. I’m sure the workers will understand.
Like Eugene Tooms, the creature from “The Host” is creepy as all get out. It’s also pretty dangerous to humans, though more because of its general hunger and desire to parasitically reproduce rather than wanting to consume livers.
The first sign of Flukeman shows itself on a Russian freighter just off the New Jersey coast. A crewmember is pulled into the ship’s sewer system; his mangled corpse shows up in the sewers of Newark, New Jersey days later.
Scully performs an autopsy on the unidentified body, discovering a Russian tattoo and, more frighteningly, a live flukeworm. Meanwhile, a sewer worker named Craig is pulled into the sewer system beneath Newark by a mysterious force, though a co worker saves him.
However, he soon begins to complain of an odd taste in his mouth and shows his doctor a strange wound on his back. Though Mulder and Scully believe that the wound corresponds to the strange flukeworm found in the Russian body, they can find nothing more wrong with Craig. Of course, the effects of his implied encounter with Flukeman are far from over.
In fact, Mulder and Scully eventually capture the Flukeman with the help of some workers at a wastewater processing plant. They get a good, close-up look of the creature, which shows itself to be a deeply upsetting blend between a flukeworm and a humanoid creature. However, Flukeman soon escapes their grasp. The investigative duo from the FBI have their work cut out for them.
By the way, Flukeman is played by Darin Morgan, brother of executive producer Glen Morgan. Darin would go on to become a staff writer for the series, producing some of the most critically-acclaimed scripts of The X-Files.
11. “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space”
Many people would argue that some of the best episodes of The X-Files are its funny ones. Moreover, the best of the best, the most humorous tales, are made even better when they’re self-aware. Such is the case with “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space”, an intelligent spoof of both UFO conspiracy theories and The X-Files itself.
The whole mess begins with a teenage couple driving back from a date. Their car suddenly stops, whereupon they are abducted by aliens. Cut to Agent Scully. She’s being interviewed by the titular Jose Chung, an author who is writing a book about the phenomena of UFOs and alien abduction.
Scully notes that the girl’s clothes were on inside out. She takes this to be evidence of date rape, despite reports of extraterrestrial encounters. However, the teenage boy vehemently claims that he did not assault his date. Mulder, who is inclined to agree, insists on hypnotic sessions for the pair. Multiple instances of hypnosis reveal a strange and ever-changing web of events.
Scully and Mulder attempt to get to the bottom of the matter by interviewing other people in the town. However, this serves only to make things more confusing. Roky Crikenson, a lineman, says he witnessed the abduction and is turning it into a screenplay. He also claims to have been visited by two menacing “men in black”, who tell him to stay away from the matter. Strangely enough, those two figures look an awful lot like Alex Trebek and Jesse Ventura.
“Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” can be, frankly, difficult to follow. Probably, Mulder and Scully feel the same. Still, it’s an interesting look at the messy state of the UFO phenomenon and of human memory in general. Plus, it is truly, genuinely funny.
12. “X-Cops”
As The X-Files continued broadcasting, some viewers began to wonder how long the series could stay fresh. Of course, the show had its fair share of duds, just like any other. Still, by the seventh season, surely at least some fans began to watch with a mixture of nervous anticipation and excitement. Could The X-Files keep itself entertaining?
For the twelfth episode of season seven, the answer was certainly “yes”. The episode, titled “X-Cops”, is an innovative take on what had, by 2000, become a well-worn series. Not only did it take on the old narrative saws established by The X-Files, but it also helped to make something unique out of the popular Cops television show.
The episode begins as a standard evening on Cops. In fact, the first time that I saw this on TV, I thought that I had gotten the schedule wrong and very nearly turned the channel. However, by the time LA Sheriff’s Deputy Keith Wetzel encounter a terrifying creature, it soon became clear that this was no ordinary episode of Cops.
Though Wetzel survives his violent encounter, the LA County Sheriff’s Department is thrown into a frenzy. Who – or what – attacked him? Their hackles are further raised when they run into our friends Mulder and Scully nearby. However, they reveal themselves as FBI agents investigating the same apparent monster.
While Mulder embraces the publicity brought by the Cops camera crew, Scully clearly wants nothing of it. The tension brings just the right amount of levity to a disorienting and unsettling story. As the sheriff’s department and the agents work their way through a rough LA neighborhood, the situation becomes more clear and far more dangerous.
13. “The Pine Bluff Variant”
Most of the time, both the viewers and Dana Scully believe that Fox Mulder is a good guy. He’s strange, to be sure, and a few episodes reveal that he’s kind of a gross nerd (he’s got a waterbed and mirror above the bed – really, sir?). Still, Mulder is ultimately on the side of good. Right?
In the season five episode, “The Pine Bluff Variant”, Scully begins to have doubts. While on a sting operation, Mulder allows a suspected terrorist to escape. Later, he evades Scully’s questioning. She begins to wonder if Mulder has somehow gotten in bed with the anti-government group, called the New Spartans.
Meanwhile, the New Spartans are beginning to wonder if Mulder, their newest member, might in fact be a mole. They’re especially concerned because the group is on the verge of releasing a powerful bioweapon. This pathogen practically melts the flesh of an individual, leaving them to die a painful and gruesome death.
As Scully digs deeper, the truth becomes more and more evident. While we always know that Mulder comes out okay (remember, there are quite a few more seasons to go before the end of the show), the role of both the New Spartans and the U.S. Government becomes frighteningly muddled. Though this episode focuses largely on human monsters, it will surely satisfy even the most alien-crazy of viewers.
14. “Improbable”
The truth is, you could probably stop watching The X-Files around season seven and be just fine. After some casting shakeups in the following seasons, the show never quite recovered its former mid- to late-nineties glory. However, there are a few gems buried in these later seasons, though you may still miss the classic Mulder and Scully duo.
“Improbable”, from the show’s penultimate ninth season, is one of those gems. It features Scully, along with some new additions: FBI Agents John Doggett (Robert Patrick) and Monica Reyes (Annabeth Gish).
Agent Reyes is investigating the death of a woman in a casino restroom. She’s beginning to think that the murder, which is just one in a string of similar cases, is somehow based on numerology. However, her superiors think that she’s full of baloney. However, fellow agent Dana Scully, who still thinks the numerology track is off, manages to discover another clue. The victims all bear similar marks on their cheeks, which may be an impression from the killer’s ring.
As Scully and Reyes continue their search, they encounter a strange man, played by none other than Burt Reynolds. This man happened to appear when the pair had very nearly captured the killer. He has no phone or ID, though his car trunk is packed with CDs and a box of checkers. Somehow, he convinces the two to sit and play several rounds of the game, which somehow gives them a clue as to killer’s identity.
This is a definitively silly episode. Scully is right that numerology doesn’t make much sense at all, for one. Still, it’s worth watching, if only for Burt Reynolds’ turn as a mysterious and possibly omnipotent being.
15. “Ice”
If you’ve seen director John Carpenter’s 1982 film, The Thing, then “Ice” may look familiar. To be fair, series creator Chris Carter cited Who Goes There?, a 1938 novella, as inspiration. To be more fair, though, Who Goes There? is also a direct source for The Thing. I’ll leave the copyright judgment up to you. However, “Ice” nevertheless remains a creepy and evocative episode from the show’s first season.
When members of an Alaskan scientific team commit mass murder-suicide, Scully and Mulder are called to the scene. This means, of course, that they must travel to the same remote research station. Accompanying them is toxicology Dr. Da Silva (played by Felicity Huffman), physician Dr. Hodge, geologist Dr. Murphy, and a bush pilot named Bear. When they arrive, the team is attacked by a dog, who manages to bite Bear.
While poking around the abandoned station, Dr. Murphy finds an ice core. He believes the core to have come from a meteor crater and is about 250,000 years old. Meanwhile, Bear is beginning to show signs of aggression, along with mysterious black nodules on his skin. Does this have anything to do with the dog that bit him? When Hodge takes a small worm from beneath his skin, their only pilot abruptly dies.
Paranoia quickly grows after this incident. The others begin to believe that Mulder may be growing similarly aggressive and lock him in a storeroom.
However, Scully isn’t quite ready to believe that her partner is so far gone. After some hard scientific work, she believes that she may have discovered a cure. But will she be able to administer the cure to the right person? It seems as if infected people don’t especially want to be cured, anyway, much less reveal themselves. The close quarters and tension of the episode make for compelling television viewing.
16. “War of the Coprophages”
Few amongst us like bugs. Though insects, arachnids, and the like are important members of our ecosystems, there’s just something off about them. Maybe our hominid brains just can’t deal with the exoskeletons, too-many legs, and possible poison hazard presented by so many creepy crawlies. It’s enough to send many an intelligent person into outright panic.
This explains some of the panic in “War of the Coprophages,” from the third season of The X-Files. “Coprophages” refers specifically to cockroaches, known for their affinity for, well, dung. Research the prefix “copro-” and you’ll see what I mean.
The whole mess beings with the unfortunate death of an exterminator. The exterminator, who was visiting the basement of Dr. Jeff Eckerle, dies alone of apparent anaphylactic shock – that is, an allergic reaction. When Dr. Eckerle comes down to check on the man, he finds the exterminator covered in roaches.
Dr. Eckerle freaks out like any normal human would. However, soon the entire town is losing their minds over cockroaches. It seems as if more and more people are dying from these killer insects, though one begins to wonder just how much panic and allergic reactions are playing into these deaths.
Mulder comes in to investigate on his own. Though he’s ostensibly going solo, he continually calls Scully at home, to such a point that she feels compelled to check it out in person, too.
Though the cause is eventually revealed to be something a little more mundane that what Mulder may have hoped, “War of the Coprophages” is still good TV. It’s funny and entertaining while poking fun at our species’ tendency to lose our heads when it comes to our buggy compatriots.
17. “Hollywood A.D.”
Maybe it’s just because my brain doesn’t work in the right way, but “Hollywood A.D.” is a particularly weird episode, at least narratively speaking. Perhaps you, who are likely far more astute than I, will be able to make a little more sense out of it. No matter, though, because it is still a very fun ride.
By the seventh season of The X-Files, everyone knew who Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny were. In the fictional realm of the show, agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully were also well-known, though perhaps not as much as their real-world actors. Because of their small acclaim, the FBI agents have attracted the attention of Hollywood producer Wayne Federman.
Federman, as it turns out, wants to make a movie about the FBI. Luckily for him, his old college roommate, Walter Skinner, is now FBI Assistant Director. Skinner is also the boss of Mulder and Scully, meaning that they are forced to talk with Federman.
The pair are a little miffed, as they’re in the middle of an ongoing investigation. They’re attempting to learn who tried to kill Cardinal O’Fallon via bombing. They believe that Micah Hoffman, an aged counterculture rebel from the 1960s, may be at fault. It certainly helps their case when they discover what appear to be Hoffman’s remains in the catacombs beneath O’Fallon’s church.
They also discover a “Lazarus Bowl.” Supposedly the aunt of the biblical Lazarus had just happened to be making a clay vessel while Jesus raised her nephew from the dead. Somehow, Jesus’ words were inscribed into the grooves of the bowl and can be played back in modern times.
So, is the Lazarus Bowl a fake? What does this have to do with the Cardinal and the bomber? And how is Federman going to make this all into a profitable movie (starring Garry Shandling as Mulder and Tea Leoni as Scully, no less)?
Though the episode loves to meander and indulges in some weird special effects, it’s a fun commentary on Hollywood, truth, and Shandling’s ability to convincingly portray an FBI agent.
18. “Small Potatoes”
Some people, no matter what they do, never feel like they’re quite “enough.” Has this happened to you? I mean, you work and work and hustle your butt off, but some days it feels like it’s all come to diddly-squat. Even if you were born with some extraordinary anomaly – like, oh, a tail – it can feel like nothing at all.
This will all make sense in a second, but first we have to pull back a bit. Mulder and Scully are called to the town of Martinsburg, West Virginia. Five children have recently been born there, all with prominent tails. The most recent mother even claims that the mysterious father was Luke Skywalker. Genetic analysis shows that the children all share the same father, though both Scully and Mulder remain skeptical on the Skywalker hypothesis.
Instead, all signs point to local janitor Eddie Van Blundht. Mulder discovers that Van Blundht used to sport a tail himself. In fact, Eddie’s father is a former circus act known for his own tail. Scully thinks that he must have used some sort of date rape drug to commit these assaults, but Mulder isn’t sure that Eddie could have given it to all the affected women.
As it turns out early on, Eddie is actually a shapeshifter. Despite having powers that would make an X-Man jealous, he’s made almost nothing out of himself. Moreover, Eddie really knows it. So, after tricking five different women into sleeping with him, he decides to take the place of Agent Mulder himself. However, it soon becomes clear that Eddie is no good at that either.
Despite the uncomfortable date rape aspects of the plot, “Small Potatoes” is otherwise a fun story. David Duchovny gets extra kudos for his portrayal of Eddie-as-Mulder, who generally mucks around Mulder’s apartment, makes fun of his loner lifestyle, and tries to put a move on Scully herself.
19. “The Post-Modern Prometheus”
To tell the truth, black and white film in modern television is a tricky thing to do. Now, this was a different matter entirely back when black and white was the only practical option. Modern filmmakers, however, have to tread pretty carefully. White monochromatic palettes can be very expressive, they can also come across as terribly pretentious.
This all only really works in the hands of a creator who is both practical, artistic, and thorough at the same time. It also helps that the episode under consideration takes its cues from many pop culture classics, from Frankenstein, to Jerry Springer’s talk show, to Cher herself.
Like “Small Potatoes,” the plot of “The Post-Modern Prometheus” hinges on sexual assault. I promise, these episodes are otherwise great and the series doesn’t rely on this plot point for the vast majority of its episodes. Still, it’s important to know what you’re getting into.
At any rate, the people of Albion, Indiana are frightened by a case of strange, unexplained pregnancies. The most recent victim, Shaineh Berkowitz, claims that she’s actually a double victim. The first attack resulted in her current 18-year-old son, Izzy. Now, she’s pregnant again. She says that the creature who attacked her had a misshapen head and two mouths. Could it have anything to do with the local mad scientist, a geneticist named Francis Pollidori?
“The Post-Modern Prometheus” is both heartfelt and stylish. It plays up the strangeness both of the creature – frequently called “The Great Mutato” – and the townspeople themselves. Plus, the episode is rife with some choice Cher tracks, so it’s sure to be a treat for your ears if nothing else.
20. “Pusher”
It must be difficult to be on the receiving end of a serial killer’s attentions, especially if you’re somehow constructed as his long-awaited nemesis. At least, that must be how Agent Mulder felt when he encountered Robert Patrick Modell, or “Pusher”.
What’s with the name? Pusher has a kind of mind control. Instead of going all Professor X and working for good, however, Modell has decided to strike out for the easy money of contract killings. He’s especially good at it, since he can make his victims kills themselves, therefore leaving little evidence of his presence.
There would be no evidence of Pusher, in fact, if he weren’t such a self-aggrandizing person. At one crime scene, Mulder spots the word “ronin,” which leads him to Modell’s classified ad and Modell himself. Naturally, Mulder arrests him.
While in custody, Modell “pushes” various people to commit suicide in grotesque and painful ways. He’s also able to escape jail, walk into the FBI headquarters, and make someone pull Mulder’s file. It soon becomes clear that Modell believes Mulder to be a worthy opponent, something he has not encountered before.
But enough about Pusher. The real heart of the episode lies between Scully and Mulder. A pivotal scene near the end of the episode, in which Mulder himself is under Modell’s control, shows just how strong the bond between agents has become.
21. “Die Hand Die Verletzt”
Back in the 1980s, the “Satanic Panic” was a real phenomenon that really ruined lives. Instead of devil worshippers, however, it was the anxious, thoughtless adults who attacked without thinking and accused their neighbors of devilry.
By the time “Die Hand Die Verletzt” aired in 1995, most of the country had shaken off the panic. However, lingering fears about Satanism remained. Moreover, many worried about the place of religion in busy modern life. Were people being too careless with their immortal souls?
Such is the question faced by the faculty members of a high school in sleepy Milford, New Hampshire. However, they’re not Christian. In fact, they’re members of a well-established, though underground, sect of Satanists. When a group of teenagers inadvertently summon an actual demon, the adults don’t immediately react with fear. Instead, they gripe about how they’ll have to become more devout, and how their intensified practice will interfere with their daily lives.
Of course, Mulder and Scully must come into the picture to investigate a gruesome murder and another teen’s subsequent claims of Satanic ritual abuse. However, they soon learn that there is an actual evil force in their midst, as evidenced by a mysterious new substitute teacher.
Though you won’t always find “Die Hand Die Verletzt” on “best of” lists (perhaps because of that name – it’s a lot to type out, you know), it’s a genuinely interesting episode. Alongside the dark humor of boring Satanic adults, there is truly scary imagery, including a giant snake and an evil substitute.
22. “Arcadia”
X-Files fans have spent many years making hay from the Scully-Mulder relationship. After all, it’s tough for anyone who watched the long-running show not to have thought, at least once, that Mulder and Scully were kind of into each other. At the very least, show creators made it clear that the two shared a strong bond. Whether or not said bond was platonic or otherwise was up to the individual writer or viewer.
One aspect of a strong bond between people is the ability to give one another hell. If you can’t get on someone’s nerves in a good-natured sort of way, then you’re really missing out. Clearly, Mulder has no intention of passing up any such opportunity with Scully.
Now, a large part of the fun of “Arcadia” comes from this aspect of their relationship. In this sixth season episode, Mulder and Scully are posing as a married couple, Rob and Laura Petrie. They’re moving into the former home of the Klines, a married couple who were mysteriously killed. The Klines, by the way, lived in a planned community called the Fall of Arcadia.
While setting up camp in their new neighborhood, Mulder and Scully – sorry, Rob and Laura – are greeted by their neighbors.
Their new associates seem more worried than usual about neighborhood rules and the homeowner’s association. Everyone seems to live in particular fear of Gene Gogolak, the president of the association. Gogolak himself is fanatically devoted to enforcing the rules. Could he have anything to do with the Klines’ deaths?
As grim as that may sound, this is in fact one of the funny monster-of-the-week episodes. For one, “Arcadia” presents a nearly pitch-perfect parody of life in a gated community ruled by associations and covenants. Of course, there’s also the awkward and yet comfortable situation presented by Mulder and Scully as they pretend to be married. Surely, it presented much fodder for fans.
23. “Unusual Suspects”
To be honest, I need to apologize. It’s taken more than twenty entries for me to talk about The Lone Gunmen at length. Can you ever forgive me?
If, somehow, you’ve never heard of The Lone Gunmen, let’s all sit down and take a minute to go over the trio. The members are John Byers, Melvin Frohike, and Richard Langly. They’re a group of undeniably nerdy computer hackers, for one. And while they spout the kind of conspiracy theory lines that sound like malarkey, in the world of The X-Files, they’re actually right.
None other than Agent Mulder acts as their official contact. You see, for all that fans loved to swoon over Mulder and occasional writers tried to make him look like an action hero, he’s a nerd. Fox Mulder is an utter dweeb, my friends.
If you doubt me, then take a gander at “Unusual Suspects”, the third episode of the fifth season. This story actually explains how Mulder first came into contact with the Lone Gunmen, not to mention how the trio actually came to be so tied up with government conspiracies. So, where could an FBI agent and some freewheeling computer techs come into contact? A mid-nineties computer convention, of course.
At the convention, Byers – at that time, a loyal government employee – is stuck manning a deeply unpopular FCC booth. He runs into a mysterious woman who desperately needs his help. However, she’s either looking for her kidnapped daughter, or she’s a dangerous terrorist. Mulder becomes involved in the investigation.
Without spoiling too much, this ends up with Mulder exposed to a form of hallucinogenic ergot fungus, which causes him to tear off all of his clothes and roll around screaming on the floor of a warehouse in Baltimore. Good times.
24. “Field Trip”
If Mulder eventually has a fun, if weird, time with weaponized fungus in “Unusual Suspects”, the same cannot be said for both him and Scully in “Field Trip”. This sixth season episode also features a fungus, but it is far more sinister than anything facilitated by The Lone Gunmen. Consider “Field Trip” to be the bad acid trip cousin to “Unusual Suspects.”
Wallace and Angela Schiff are just finished with their hiking trip in the woods of North Carolina. They return home and begin to clean up and get ready for bed. While Angela is taking a shower, however, she is hit by a massive headache. She also hallucinates gross yellow gunk sliding down the walls of her shower. Then, the vision passes and she calmly goes to bed in the arms of her husband. However, as the camera begins to pan out, we see their skeletal remains in the same position in the middle of an open field.
Clearly, this is a case for the X-Files team. When Mulder and Scully investigate the remains, they discover that the bones are covered in a strange yellow substance. Scully stays back to continue work with the local coroner, while Mulder goes into the field. Unfortunately, Mulder’s vehicle passes over a patch of mushrooms, which release a strange gas.
What follows is a little difficult to describe. Both Mulder and Scully begin to experience powerful, realistic hallucinations. At various points, they believe that they have escaped the murderous mushrooms, only to discover that they’re back where they started.
Meanwhile, it appears that the fungus is intent on devouring them, just like it did with the unfortunate couple at the beginning of the episode. Mulder and Scully are quickly running out of time and must draw on all of their intelligence and willpower to defeat the organism. While “monster mushroom” sounds goofy, “Field Trip” is actually really creepy, mind-bending stuff.
25. “Bad Blood”
If you want to sound smart (which I’m sure you really are), then you can reference the Akira Kurosawa classic Rashomon when talking about “Bad Blood.” In reality, though, the story was based on an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show, in which various characters recall a fight. Either way, “Bad Blood” is rightfully held as one of the best and funniest tales ever produced by The X-Files.
The episode starts off with an apparent murder: Mulder chases a young man named Ronnie through the woods and stakes him through the heart. When an aghast Scully catches up with him, he tells her that the victim was clearly a vampire – look at his teeth! However, Scully quickly realizes that the teeth are fake. Mulder, it seems, is in deep, deep trouble.
Back at FBI headquarters, the duo are in their offices, preparing for their report to Assistant Director Skinner. Both retell the events of the past few days, with very different results.
Essentially, the X-files team is called to the small town of Charney, Texas. Mulder believes that a series of murders there have been committed by vampires. A skeptical Scully (who, in Mulder’s retelling, is dismissive and cranky) agrees to go along. Once there, they meet up with Sheriff Hartwell (Luke Wilson), who is either devastatingly handsome or a buck-toothed hick, depending on whose version you’re listening to.
However, their fate soon changes. It seems that, once the coroner removed the stake from Ronnie’s body, his “corpse” simply decided to get up and walk away. Mulder and Scully are obliged to return to Charney in order to complete their investigation, with surprising results.
Enjoy these episodes of The X-Files. Hopefully you’ll want to watch the rest of the series, mytharc and all!