Check Out “Love Songs of the Harry Potter Universe”
By Ani Bundel
This hilarious ad for the faux compilation album “Love Songs of the Harry Potter Universe” has us in stitches while wishing we could buy it.
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Music has always been an important part of the Harry Potter universe. Whether it be songs like the paen to Hogwarts that was put to music in the movie, tracks like John William’s haunting score of the original movie, wizarding Christmas carols, or all those amazing Harry Potter pop song parodies that were created in the wake of the series popularity, music has always gone hand in hand with the Potterverse. We even have tribute bands like Harry and the Potters, who throw their own Yule Ball every year.
What we really need though is a compilation album. Something between a movie score soundtrack, a recording of the choral groups who sang during the films, and tracks like K-Face Rule’s “Dark Lord Funk,” we need this for all those Harry Potter parties we’re going to throw at the end of the month, when the final story comes out in book form.
Sadly, this is not that. Instead, VStheUniverse had imagined a last night commercial for a compilation of “The Love Songs of the Harry Potter Universe.” Perfect for Valentine’s Day…in ten months or so.
For those of us who grew up in a time before internet, when buying music was actually a thing people did by calling 1-800-Mixalot, this parody commercial is pitch perfect, with the softcore background track and the unnecessarily sexy male voice who sounds like he’s own sentence away from advising us how to make whoopie. But it’s the pun-errific tracks they promise that makes me sorry that this album doesn’t actually exist in real life.
- Then You Came Slytherin
- Ain’t Nothin Ron With That
- Knock Knock Knockin’ on Gryffindor
- Granger Things Have Happened
- The Boy Who Loved
- Minister of Snuggle Affairs
- The Mirror of Erised (Says We Belong Together)
- Cauldron of Hot Steaming Love
- I Adumbledore You
- Ridikkulus Love
For those who were not alive in the 70s and 80s, yes, they really had this many tracks.
- Parseltongue
- Baby, Ride My Broomstick
- Nymphadora’s Nymphomania
- He Who Must Not Be Tamed
- Get on the Fleur
- Chase It, Seek it, Keep It, Beat It
- I’m Dead Sirius About Our Love
- Veritasee You In My Dreams
- Umbridge Over Troubled Waters
And there’s more…..
- Show Me Your Wand, I’ll Show You My Snitch
- The Deathly Swallows
- Half-Chub Prince
- Philosopher’s Bone
- 99 Problems But A Snitch Ain’t One
- Luna Lovegood’s Good Lovin’
- Not My Daughter You Bitch
- OWLin’ For You
- Weasley Is Our King (In Bed)
But in case you cannot live without songs like this in your life, the group has actually gone ahead and *made* four of these tracks, which are available on their bandcamp site.
- “Mischief Managed” by Pepper Allure
- “Neville Got Hot” by Myron Wagtail
- “Meet Me (In The Room Of Requirement) by Circe Lauper
- “No One Can Severus” by Professor Snape
Give them a spin today and maybe next time you’re thinking about using a bit of love potion to get that certain magical someone, you’ll try these instead.